Tuesday, October 21, 2008

So tight, so big, so warm and wet

I’m trying to recall ever reading a romance novel where the hero didn’t have a huge cock or the heroine didn’t have a “very tight” vagina.

Where do these humongous-penis-men live and who are these women with tiny coochies? I can tell you that no man has ever said “you’re so tight” to me. Not even the first guy I had sex with—of course he had a weenie wiener so maybe nothing would have been too tight for him LOL.

Another of my romance book sex concerns is women that “feel” men ejaculate inside them. Last I heard this was virtually impossible because women have almost no nerve endings in their cervix wall. (Can you imagine birth if we actually did? *YIKES*) Then, care to explain how it is that these heroines are always feeling warm/wet fluid gushing inside them? I, personally, have NEVER ever felt semen hitting anything inside me.

I wish that for once an author would write a book about a man with a tiny cock and an erectile dysfunction and a woman with a vagina as big as salad bowl who could not orgasm. They both have to be gorgeous though or I’m not reading it. Am I asking for too much?

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9 comment(s):

Anonymous Sheila said...

Thank God- I thought it was just me that couldn't feel the all powerful baby-making gush. I know my husband was wondering why I kept quizzically looking at his little hole and wondering if maybe not enough was coming out. Then I started wondering if maybe I wasn't exciting him enough to have more than a nominal release. But phew- you sure make me feel tons better!! Now I can stop giving him head all the time just to test the release valve, so to speak (I'm sure my hubbie willnot thank you for that) HAHA.

10/21/2008 07:09:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Sheila, I know. For years I felt the same way. I kept wondering why I didn't feel the warm gooiness inside when all the romance novels I read mentioned it and even some friends. I remember lying to some guys I had sex with about it. Then later on I just thought fuck it don't have to keep pretending I feel their all powerful sperm hitting me in there.

A few years ago in a feminism seminar one of the speakers addressed this issue and told us that women can't feel anything in their cervix (or at least very little) and that this was another misconception/lie women told each other to be feel more like a "real" woman. No one wanted to be the one that didn't feel it and hence they lied about it to each other.

Same thing with orgasms through penetration. At first all my friends would lie about it. Everyone claimed to be multiorgasmic *snort* when in reality a big percentage of women can only have orgasms through the clitoris (or G-spot if you are lucky enough). I should probably do a bit of a study on this and blog it....

10/21/2008 08:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Sheila said...

I don't want to seem like I am hogging up your comments section but I think that would be a great study to look into. I am certainly not multiorgasmic and the whole G spot doesn't always get it done for me. I need clit contact and sucking on my neck (maybe a bit of a vampire fetish, I admit), and being in missionary does absolutely NOTHING for me to get to the finish line and even hurts on entry. My personal fave is reverse cowgirl. But I would love to hear what real people say and not just what the sex mags think we should all be doing.

While your at it find out why the romance novels always have guys loving to go down on their women for 3 orgasms and smother their faces in the girl juice. In real life, I don't mind giving my guy a blow job, but he never goes down on me unless I ask. I have asked all the important questions- Do I smell or taste bad? Is it because I had 3 kids and now you can't look at me there? The answer is always NO, but it is so infrequent that now when he does it, I feel self-conscious and can't relax enough to enjoy it. Most of my friends give me similar stories- so what's up with that?

10/21/2008 10:29:00 PM  

Blogger Bev(QB) said...

"why the romance novels always have guys loving to go down on their women for 3 orgasms"

Sheila, say it with me now "That's why it's called FICTION!" ;-p

Which also explains why that same virginal heroine is able to not only suck down the hero's Cockzilla but also his copious quantities of luv juices; first time at bat and never gags once!

And puh-lease, an hour after losing her virginity and suddenly she's luvin' teh buttsecks with that anaconda, too?! Bitch must be a living rubber luv doll!

Oh, wait, back to Trollop's original questions: yes, I can feel when my DH comes. But not the sooper preshur spraiz that cause my own orgasmic bliss that they write about; it's just a warm, wet feeling. And no, I have orgasmed exactly twice in my life through intercourse alone and only then because I was at the edge to begin with and he just happened to magically be in just the exact right position to rub my clit the exact right way.

Attempts at duplicating this feat have proved fun but futile.

/end TMI

10/22/2008 11:13:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Sheila, my bf actually loves going down on me (I trained him well from the beginning though LOL You better eat the salad if you want the main course kind of thing) but he never stays there for more than one orgasm. Another of those stupid romance novels myths btw, since the clit is usually too tender after you come it's actually uncomfortable for the guy to begin again right away.

Bev, I'm like you. I need clitoral stimulation or it's never gonna happen. Most of my friends have admitted to not being able to have orgasm through penetration but only after MONTHS/YEARS of asking them and they swearing that yes they were multi-orgasmic and all that other BS. Eventually they do tell me the truth as if it were an embarrassment/short coming.

I wish that we, as women, could be honest to ourselves and each other in order to really work on having a good and fulfilling sexual life sans the lies and BS *sigh*

10/22/2008 11:26:00 AM  

Blogger DumSpiroSpero said...

Yay yay yay you're back!!! I had nearly given up hope.

I have been told I'm tight, but maybe I'm just lucky and have a girthy bf? Certainly seems that way to me. :P

I agree with Bev that, on occasion, I feel a little something going on when he comes, but it's not great gushes of fluid or anything crazy like that.

I rarely come without clitoral stimulation. I feel like it was easier when I was younger, but maybe it's just because sex was all shiny and new back then. Also, I'm pretty uncomfortable receiving oral like Sheila. It all stems back to an awkward incident when I was 19 that I've apparently never gotten past. I pretty much wait for a certain amount of time before I tell him I'm ready to move on. I certainly wish it was all fireworks and passing out like fiction tells me it should be!

10/22/2008 10:51:00 PM  

Anonymous this book for free said...

Well, they do write about men with tiny penis and erectile dysfunction. Usually, they're the wife beaters and serial killers.

Apparently, youcan't be romantic hero unless your cock is throbbingly big, and the heroine with a pinprick-hole of a vagina.

10/23/2008 01:03:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say that I sometimes feel the warm flow of sperm. Not all the time, but often enough. That's one's realistic for sure.

Shosh

10/23/2008 01:04:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Hey you guys. I'm really glad to see some of you are still here. :D

Anyway, Trollop and i were just talking about sex. Well, stuff related to this post. And now apparently i'm supposed to comment. :/

I feel it when a man comes in me. Sometimes i don't. But yeah, women can feel men ejaculate inside them. Although i have to laugh with Sheila because i used to do the same thing: wonder if his cock wasn't spewing its worth. Those heroes who come in buckets sure are misleading.

I think every woman needs clitoral stimulation. C'mon, it's the ignition! You need it to have a combustion! :P Though, er, don't hate me but i have to admit there were times i'd come through penetration alone. (Oh, stop the tomatoes!) Like when my ex would do his stuff and i'd feel him hitting me relentlessly, vigorously and i'd come. It's that g-spot thing i think. Oh, and the position. ;)

10/23/2008 03:22:00 PM