Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Let's get physical, physical, let me hear your body talk...

Does anyone remember that episode in SATC when Samantha casually mentions to the girls over brunch that she’s doing her vaginal exercises? Yes? No? Well, I do. The moment she declared that’s the way she stayed “tight” was the second I went to find out how to get my butt in shape (er, no pun intended).

After Trollop’s poor results in the five orgasms challenge, I have to ask: Are you guys doing your Kegels? Yes, I’m asking all of you heathens and not just the pregger ones.

I’m surprised a lot of women don’t know what the Kegel muscle is (more accurately called pubococcygeus or PC muscle), or if they do know about it they’re not exercising it. DUDE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? No one wants a loose coochie!

I admit, I’m lazy and I barely go to the gym. (In my defense I go shopping almost everyday and walk for 3 hours.) But when it comes to my PC muscles, I tone and condition, squeeze/hold/release, clench and unclench, baby. Here’s why:
  • A strong PC muscle (let’s call it “The Kegel”) gives both partners a muchos greater sexual fulfillment. Meaning: MORE MORE MORE orgasms, more intense orgasms, including the ever elusive G-spot orgasms.
  • “The Kegel” will give you a higher libido. You’ll get in closer connection with your body and become more responsive and intuitive during sex. Hence, the sex will become better and you’ll want more sex because you’re learning how to work it the way you want it.
  • “The Kegel” will squeeze your man’s pole of love so tight he’ll see the light and whimper from orgasmic delight!
Now, don’t tell me you don’t have time to do Kegels yada yada yada. Shut up. I do my Kegels any time: at home, at the mall, boring date/meeting, while reading, pestering Trollop, watching TV, etc. Seriously, there is no excuse not to do them. All you gotta do is sit for like five minutes, concentrate and voila! So verra easy. You can do it for 40 seconds at a time trice a day and before you know it, you have enough muscle control that it can use the TV remote on its own (verra helpful skill when watching a yummy studmuffin and your hands are otherwise occupied ;P).

Okay, let’s find your PC muscles first. Here are some tips:
  • The easy way: While you’re peeing, intentionally stop the flow of urine. Repeat it several times till you become familiar with the muscle you’re using to stop the flow. This muscle is your PC muscle.
  • The Harlot’s way *wink*: Ask your lover for help. Lie down. Take his hand and guide his finger inside your vajayjay. Clench. If he feels pressure around his finger, you’re using the right muscle.
For Kegels virgins, read this and this for more instructions.

If you keep forgetting to do your Kegels, the key is this: find something to use as a trigger. Like when you’re having breakfast, waiting in line at the pornshop, on a subway, browsing our blog, anything really—and the beauty of it is no one needs to know why you’re grinning. Or shuddering, heh.

Now, don’t think the men are getting off easy here (pun intended). Yep, men have PC muscles too:

Exercising this muscle regularly will prolong the duration of lovemaking and make your climax much more intense. Some say that guys with healthy PC muscles can actually hang a towel over their erections and raise and lower their penises at will.

If that’s not enough to convince you blokes to do Kegels I don’t know what is. Chicas, feel free to share this info with your BF, hubby and every dude in your harem whose sorry asses aren’t reading TBB, hmph. Thank me later when you’re having better sex. :P

In conclusion, here’s what I hope some of you have learned:
  • DO your Kegel exercises.
  • DON’T underestimate the power that lies between your legs.
  • Let me repeat it again, say it with me this time: There is NO excuse not to do Kegels.
  • Added tip for the ladies: Try doing some Kegel crunches while your man is deep inside you. That would give your PC muscles some work and I guarantee, your lover will take it like a man: moaning and begging for more. *g*

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13 comment(s):

Blogger Terri said...

Your man's pole of love LMAO ... You two crack me up !

1/22/2008 05:32:00 PM  

Anonymous Di said...

I can't concentrate on your post looking up Richard's Simmons 70's shorts.

I'll be having nightmares tonight.

1/22/2008 06:17:00 PM  

Blogger Alice said...

Ahahaha, "man's pole of love" -- oh jeez!

And that picture.. I agree with Di. I don't think I will fall asleep tonight...

1/22/2008 07:31:00 PM  

Blogger Frozen Star said...

Just had a mental image of a guy - stark naked - raising and lowering a towel with his penis. I almost fell out of my seat laughing.

I do my Kegels regularly though.

1/22/2008 07:35:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

Yep. Kegels keep it tight. Even AFTER giving birth. :D

1/22/2008 08:57:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I keep thinking of Richard Simmons doing that barbell thing with his penis. :S

I always forget to do kegels. Good tip about that finding a trigger.

1/23/2008 06:14:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

My hooha is probably the equivalent to the neck of an old tshirt b/c I've never done these!

*Running to tighten hooha*

1/23/2008 09:59:00 AM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Loved the Harlot's way. LOL!

I don't do kegels. I guess it's time I should start exercising my fiery furnace.

1/23/2008 11:12:00 AM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

Yup. Kegels work ;-)

Thanks for the laugh bitches.


1/23/2008 01:24:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I'm doing mine right now! :D

1/23/2008 02:52:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

During my pregnancy I was told to do the kegel exercises while peeing. So I would pee and then hold it and then pee again. It was to strengthen for labor and delivery. I wound up having a c-section in the end but was good to get things ready for the just in case. I never thought of doing it for sex though. Sounds interesting. :)


1/23/2008 04:33:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

LOL. Seriously I'm going to give this kegel exercise a go. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. :)

1/23/2008 06:07:00 PM  

Anonymous Sara said...

Harlot, I read somewhere you shouldn't do Kegels too much in one day or you can over stress the muscle. So probably do it for 3 minutes once or twice a day. Think you can clear that up? :)

1/25/2008 06:31:00 PM