Friday, January 13, 2006

Footballers and their balls

I LOVE SPORTS! Well, not ALL sports. I, for example, don’t watch boring crap like golf, or cheer for a bunch of men fighting to get hold of a pigskin.** However, I am what some people might refer to as a “horny bitch” LOL, who knows how to appreciate the beauty of the male species. *g* I may not understand all the rules, but I do know some things, like: football players are too big, soccer players are too skinny; basketball players are too tall, baseball players have huge bums. Golfers are too old, tennis players are too meh (except for the hot Marat, that’s Safin for you); hockey players are missing teeth, and ice skaters swing the other way. Nevertheless, no matter which field/ring/court they are playing in, there’s something irresistible about some of these hot sweaty men. That is why, I LOVE reading about them.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips is the sports/romantic comedy goddess. She writes unforgettable sweep-you-off-your-feet love stories that have the perfect mix of laugh out loud moments and touching scenes, carried off by capable heroines, and of course, the oh so sexy athletes. *sigh*

So, I wonder, what is it about these jocks? There’s got to be more to it than just their balls, right? It might be their tousled hair, their expressive eyes that convey strength and power, their wonderful mouth that exudes sex... their oh so big, strong, fierce and toned body, oooh... or perhaps their stamina. Oh my, LOL, it’s become rather warm in here!!!

Okay, before I take BOB for a walk, here are some quotes from my favorite scenes in SEP’s “Stars” series:

Dan Calebow
in It Had to Be You

“Maybe I’d like to get strong-armed for a change!” he exclaimed. “Maybe I’d like to be so irresistibly sexy that I got tired to the bed for once! Would that be too much to ask? ... Maybe it’s divine justice. When I was in my twenties, I took part in so much kinky stuff with all those groupies that now I can’t seem to manage something simple and uncomplicated.”
She drew the spread to her chin. “Dan—uh— Could I say something?”
“Not if it involves whips and dog collars.”

Bobby Tom Denton
in Heaven, Texas

“Stop! No more!” She fell back to the floor. Her breasts strained against the lacy bra cups as her chest heaved from exertion.
“Say ‘Pretty please.’”
“Pretty please.” She gulped for air. She had ice cream everywhere, in her hair, her mouth, all over her body. Her once white underwear was streaked with muddy pink and brown. Not that he looked much better. She was especially pleased with the amount of strawberry she’d been able to work into his hair.
And then her mouth went dry as her eyes slid over his chest to the arrow-straight line of golden brown hair that traveled from above his navel down into the open V of his jeans. She stared at the large bulge that had grown there. Had she done that to him? Her eyes flew to his.
He regarded her with lazy amusement. For a moment neither of them moved, and then he spoke in a husky voice. “Pretty please with ice cream on top of it.”

Cal Bonner
in Nobody’s Baby but Mine

“The Evil Queen’s this way.” He marched toward his own bedroom.
What evil queen? What are you talking about? And put me down right this minute or I’ll scream bloody murder, then do the job for real!”
“I already hid all the electrical appliances, and I’m not taking shower without locking you in the closet first.”
He dropped his shoulder, and she found herself being lowered onto something soft. She looked up into her own reflection... Cal stood next to the bed. He leaned forward and gazed up at the mirror mounted above the bed.
“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s gonna be the most naked lady of all?”

Kevin Tucker
in This Heart of Mine

“You want me to give you a hickey?”
“Are you deaf?”
“Just thunderstruck.”
“There’s no one else I can ask, and I can’t stand spending another day getting marital advice from a nineteen-year-old nymphomaniac. This’ll put a stop to it.”
“Did anybody ever mention you might be a few french fries short of a Happy Meal? ... Forget it. I’m not giving you a hickey.”
“Fine. I’ll get someone else to do it.” “You will not!”
“You’ll do it?” “I guess I have to.”
He didn’t touch her, but neither did he move away. “What are you waiting for? ... Oh never mind.”
She spun around to leave, but he caught her arm. The feel of fingers on his skin made her shiver. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t. I just need to warm up a little... I can’t just lunge and bite.” His thumb stroked her arm. “It’s not in my nature.” Goosebumps quivered over her skin as he lifted his hand and trailed a finger over the curve of her neck.
Her voice developed a really annoying rasp. “It’s all right. Go ahead and lunge.”
“I’m a professional athlete.” His words were seductive caress as he traced a lazy S to the base of her throat. “Lack of a proper warm-up leads to injuries.”
“That’s the point, isn’t it? An... injury?”
He didn’t reply, and she stopped breathing as his mouth came closer...

**Apparently footballs are not made out of pigs, but of premium cowhide leather. Still, euww!


17 comment(s):

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

This, Harlot was pure fun! Hot words and hot pics... match made in heaven. These guys are professionals ballers?

1/13/2006 07:59:00 AM  

Anonymous Ann said...

I love you Bitches.
You just made my morning.
Now, I'm going to go cool off.

1/13/2006 09:46:00 AM  

Blogger ColleenInGA said...

Whew!!!That was a whole lotta skin....okay...I'm going to work now.
Thanks Harlot..

1/13/2006 10:23:00 AM  

Anonymous Tazza said...

This first pic is how I imagine Dean Robillard's character SEPs upcoming book will look like. Sizzling!

1/13/2006 04:18:00 PM  

Blogger Åñèè§å said...

dammm lol why on earth the ball had to block their balls lmao lol great post!!!

1/13/2006 09:18:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ann, we love you too! I love saying that, lol I sound like a rock star on stage *we love you San Francisco!*

Annesa, I'm with you there, those damn balls!!!

As for me: I of course, love the post and the pics, but could live with out lounging guy with the BUSH. If he were mine, I'd have him nice and trimmed :P

1/13/2006 10:07:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Balls hmmm

1/13/2006 11:52:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Bawdy babe,
Yes they are professional footballers. :D Makes them more interesting, huh. :P

Glad you like the pics. :)

I'm waiting for Dean's book too. Don't you jsut love these athletes? And SEP makes them look yummier.

Trollop babe,
Oh i love him the most! He's the cutest one!

1/14/2006 08:27:00 AM  

Blogger Malicious Strumpet said...

Ah, definitely a lovely way to start the day. Good on you, Harlot!

Every time I read part of SEP's work, I'm amazed at her astounding gift for dialogue.

I could do with out Bush guy as well...he's cute, but the hair is distracting.

1/14/2006 11:31:00 AM  

Anonymous Serendipity said...

Harlot, can one really use BOB and walk? I mean...isn't that a gymnastic feat?

1/14/2006 03:27:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

just wanted to tell you i love the pics...not a football fan in particular, but a HUGE SEP fan though. So who are these players exactly? or at least what team?

1/14/2006 03:38:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...


We should start calling her "Harlot the amazing wonder" lol.

Are you online? I'm in IM :D

1/14/2006 03:40:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Yes, Harlot, who are these players? If they even are players :P Are these men you have tied in your room making them pose for blog? If so getting on a plane ASAP lol

1/14/2006 03:42:00 PM  

Blogger Patricia Ferguson said...

very sexxxxy!

1/14/2006 09:35:00 PM  

Blogger Ham said...


1/15/2006 02:41:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Patricia Welcome!

Ham, glad to see you back! Did you already read the last Deadly?

1/16/2006 06:42:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Of course not walking while using BOB! LOL But.. hmm.. LOL

Yes they're professional players. I believe they're from a rugby team.

And babe, if they're tied on my bed, i wouldn't be here blogging. Nope. Fiesta! LOL

1/16/2006 07:21:00 PM