Friday, January 6, 2006

The Ass and The Class

Okay, I’ve reached my bullshit tolerance level and can take no more!

We, Book Bitches, are devoted to an amazing and much beloved author’s bulletin board. No, we are not going to mention the author. The woman is a class act and we don’t want her name tainted with our tawdriness and outspoken ways. Sorry folks, no can do.

There are many visiting authors on her very popular board, and that’s always so cool, to be able to talk to them over that type of forum. Without question, every single one of them has been gracious, warm, accessible and very respectful of the Host Author’s BB.

I’d never seen a free publicity seeking “I have a new book out” type of post, much less repeated posts. Suddenly this author, The Ass, who also shall remain nameless (Cathie Linz), is a BB regular!—and has the gall to end all her posts with the phrase, “Host Author’s favorite writer.” Well, missy, I have made it a point to read every fave book the Host Author has ever mentioned and your name never made the list.

We are going to tell you, The Ass, what everyone who reads your self-serving posts thinks: You are an idiot. How stupid do you think we are? You have a new book out that you can’t stop promoting it in the tackiest way, and you want us to believe that you are “suddenly” posting just for the fun of it? Gee, what a happy coincidence for you.

It’s one thing to promote your book on your own website, but to publicly whore yourself this way is demeaning to you and to us. I have never read your work and now I’m making it a point not to do so. If you want publicity, hire a publicist—as in spend a couple of bucks instead of suddenly becoming Host Author’s best friend and favorite writer(?). Please, girlfriend, save it, because we are not buying it (and that includes the book).

Now, The Class. This woman, another author who shall also remain nameless (Eloisa James), recently posted on same BB and wrote what, in my opinion, is the classiest post I’ve ever read. This is her post:

Hi everybody,

I’m a writer and a huge Host Author fan. So my last manuscript was due—wait for it—August 1. Where are we now? Hmmm. It’s a little bit late (I’m a professor too, and a mom, and I try to keep my priorities straight). Anyway, I’m really stuck with the end of this one. REALLY stuck.

So the other day I sat down and thought: I need to read something really good. Something that will make me remember why I love this profession, why I love to write, why this is the best genre in the world.

So I reread Blank. I know you guys are mostly reading it as readers, but I didn’t know who to tell this to, so I’m sticking it here. This book is absolutely brilliant from a writer’s POV. Open up any page, like page 294, which I just opened. There are hardly any tag lines (“he said,” “she said”). That’s because the different voices are so articulated in our ear that we don’t need tag lines.

Then there’s the narrator’s voice: “The characters’ heads all circled like vultures.” Ha!

And then there’s the conflict. Personally, I hate conflict. It makes the whole story bloody difficult if you have conflict (and you really have to put it in or the novel’s a sleeper). But talk about conflict—Heroine has serious, serious baggage. To me, that’s a huge challenge: set up a heroine whom most of your readers are
culturally programmed to dislike and then Make It Work.

Anyway, I am not coming back here because it’s too much as if I’m asking you all to say: Hey, I’ve read your books or some such crap. But I wanted to point out the writerly brilliance of this book to someone!

Have a terrific New Year, everybody—

Oh, and by the way: it worked. My ms is going in on Monday, thanks to Heroine and a dose of Host Author.

Now that is what I call Class. Ms. James, I’ve never read your work, but I am making it a point to read every word you’ve ever written.

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19 comment(s):

Blogger Harlot said...


Oooh, i love this! And the title too! So appropriate.

Honestly, CL should be stopped. Sometimes i wish beloved Host Author would answer one of CL's posts (did you notice that Host Author never answers any of That Ass's posts?). Like, maybe, "WTF are you still doing here??? Get out of my BB, you shameless promoting whore!" LOL. Of course Host Author won't do that as she's really a class act. Such a nice lady too. Oh, love her!

1/06/2006 08:51:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

OMG, lol. I do believe Bawdy is trying to get us banned from said board. But I laughed so much reading this post it might even be worth it. The Ass indeed!

I am ordering EJ's books as we speak. I hear she's wonderful, will let you know!

1/06/2006 08:56:00 PM  

Anonymous alb said...

There was one of those on the Brenda Joyce board one time...always talking about the books she had written,would we pretty please order one, ick, but never about anything else. Saw her at a couple of other places doing the exact same thing. We all ignored her. I don't think she ever even read a Brenda Joyce book....

1/07/2006 09:38:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Alb babe,

Welcome aboard :D. I post at BJ's bb sometimes :) I LOVE the deadly's. Can't wait to get my greedy little hands on Kisses. Calder *sigh*

Come on, tell us who this author is. Pretty please with a cherry on top. lol We're very nosy bitches, but its all for a good cause :P

1/07/2006 01:05:00 PM  

Anonymous Ann said...

This is exactly why I love this blog. I hadn't seen the whole "Host Authors favorite writer" thing, must not be paying attention. She surely is an ASS!
BTW, it's me. Your groupy from the Host Authors BB finally figuring out how to comment.

1/07/2006 01:10:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ann :D so glad you finally posted!!! Actually we're your groupies since we love that you love us :D. Welcome aboard!

1/07/2006 01:20:00 PM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

Ann, welcome aboard. So glad you could make it. Pls visit often

1/07/2006 05:07:00 PM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

Harlot, the host did respond. The best she could say is that Linz made good cookies. No comment on her work, though.

1/08/2006 05:05:00 AM  

Anonymous Serendipity said...

You have a way with words Bawdy! So true with this one though.

1/08/2006 01:46:00 PM  

Blogger Tart said...

*clap, clap*. yeah, what you said babe!

One thing I really don't like is shameless self promotion of other writers on authors websites! Especially if they never write or post at any other time, except for when their next awful secret baby virgin sheik's billionaire mistress HQ book is out!

1/08/2006 09:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Ann said...

The Ass is back, she's back. Go check it out. Nothing big but STILL!

1/09/2006 11:15:00 PM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

Yes Ann we noticed. And we also noticed no one responed to her post except the gracious host.

1/10/2006 03:37:00 AM  

Blogger ColleenInGA said...

I read this the other night while DH was sitting behind me and I just started laughing out loud, he thought I was nuts.

I will admit her posts have always irritated me, simply b/cse she never posts any other time....

1/11/2006 04:55:00 PM  

Blogger lesley said...

You've stated this a little more blatantly than I might have (demure, tactful creature that I am), but I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head, echoing the thoughts of a lot of us.

1/11/2006 06:46:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not defending CL because I'm not a huge fan, but what kind of ass are you Book B^+&*$ for inviting fans of the Class Act's BB to visit your blog? Especially when you have posts that savage some of her books on it? Congratulations, you picked the perfect name for your blog.

1/12/2006 04:10:00 AM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

Dear Anonymous, we Bitches respect all opinions, including yours. Welcome aboard, and please post often.

1/12/2006 10:34:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bought CLs book because of class acts endorsement on the cover..Now I'm having a little trouble getting thru it, but will stick it out because of the endorsement. Such is the power of being class act!

1/14/2006 06:12:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I screwed up! So sue me!
Let me rephrase my previous post........
I bought CLs book because of Host Author's endorsement on the cover. Now I'm having trouble getting thru it but will stick it out because of the endorsement. Such is the power of being Host Author!

1/14/2006 09:31:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I tried and tried and tried but couild not finish CLs book. It left me completely flat, didn't even crack a smile! After making thru 100pgs, it's going to the btrader. Can't post this on beloved Host Author's bb though bec I just can't.....It seems like they might be buddies?


1/16/2006 12:04:00 PM