Monday, January 2, 2006

Hopes and wishes for 2006

People we wish would go away:

Tom Cruise. Because you are an over-opinionated asshole with a superiority complex (must come from being a midget). And honestly, that freaky weirdo shit behavior should only be condoned in the circus.
Madonna. Please, we’re begging you, go away. Two decades of your shallow self is enough.
Britney Spears. Overexposed talentless half-wit. Learn how to sing, for god’s sake! Plastic boobs can only take you so far, and we think this is where your train stops, so please get the fuck off.
Paris Hilton. How can anyone be so rich and still look like a second rate extra from “Good Will Humping”?
Ashlee Simpson. Face it Ashlee, you are a Jan Brady in a Marcia world.
Carson Daly. The only aptitute this guy seems to have is having become famous when he’s neither cute, talented nor entertaining. To be honest, he is only good to watch when out of Ambien.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Brainless, Bush-loving twat that has ruined The View for many fans. I want Joyce to push her off the stage, so that a mob of people from the audience can beat the shit out of her.
Martha Stewart. Greedy, rude, ruthless selfish bitch devoid of any warmth or soul. Though the bitch can decorate. Before we push her off a cliff she can come over and revamp my place LOL.
Nancy Grace. Oh, Nancy, we know you mean well, but your grating voice gets on our nerves!
Stockbroker screamer guy on CNBC. Who the fuck are you?
Wal-Mart executives who exploit their workers worldwide. Rot in hell, greedy bastards!
Greedy oil executives. Ditto.
Dick Cheney. The scariest man in America.
Tom DeLay. Even amongst the corrupt, he is King.
Arnold Schwarzenegger. Fucking a Kennedy is the closest you will ever be to the White House. Accept it.

News:

Withdrawal of US troops in Iraq.
Bush gets a clue or grows a brain. The jackass is way out of step with the American people.
Democrats get their act together.
HMO executives go to referral hell.
The desperate plight of Africa becomes a priority for all nations.
The shameful poverty issue in America exposed by Katrina be addressed and eradicated.
Civil rights, which are eroding by the Patriot Act, be restored.
Legal rights for gay couples.
Tax cuts for the extreme wealthy are eliminated.
Tax cuts for businesses who do not out source work to foreign countries.
Pay raise for teachers.
Reasonable prices for medicine, gas and oil.
End secret prisons and torturing of prisoners.
End secret wiretapping.
CNN weatherman Rob Marciano to get out of his suits and show his perfect body on air. Yum.

Entertainment:

Mandatory nude scene with Josh Holloway on Lost.
End of mindlessly stupid sitcoms and annoying reality shows (Joey producers, please put us out of our misery!).
End of spin-offs like CSI, Law and Order, etc. (Die, Horatio Caine, die!)
Conan O’Brien of NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien gets funny again. He’s starting to weird us out.
Rappers stop degrading women and glorifying violence.
New Keith Urban CD, with him naked on the album cover. Yee-haw!
Authors Jenny Crusie and Bob Mayer finally getting it on. *g* You go, girl!
The return of author Judith Ivory.
The return of author LaVyrle Spencer.
Author Maggie Osborne rethinks her resignation.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips finally sells the book rights of Heaven, Texas to Hollywood; cast said Josh Holloway as the lead. Nude scenes, of course, are a necessity to further the plot.
The end of Hollywood movie remakes. Originality is good, even in the land of fake boobs.
Renee Zellweger, the best actress in Hollywood, find true romance that lasts more than 4 months. She should get her HEA even if Bridget wouldn’t (that’s how we’ll see it with the way Fielding is fucking up Bridget’s life!).

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7 comment(s):

Blogger Marg said...

I'd buy that Keith Urban album!! Heck, I buy them anyway, but I would get that one quicker than usual!!

1/05/2006 07:05:00 AM  

Anonymous Debbie said...

Oh ma god, I love this blog. Keep up the excellent commentary!

1/05/2006 03:32:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great job, thanks! Couldn't have said it better myself

Kyrah

1/09/2006 08:53:00 PM  

Blogger Jack said...

do you really mean to be a bitch. . . or not to be. . . you are such a bitch. . . but I luuuuuv yor politic. . .

1/19/2006 01:02:00 AM  

Anonymous Sasha said...

LOL, I love this!!!

Here's to the end of pretentious a**holes, talentless-brainless-bombshells and that moronic 'Dubbya'.

4/05/2006 06:57:00 AM  

Anonymous E Wheezy said...

"Stockbroker screamer guy on CNBC. Who the fuck are you?"

That's Jim Cramer, bitch, who the fuck are you?

4/11/2006 10:04:00 AM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

thanks wheezy, couldn't catch the name w/ all the screaming. you're a peach.

4/13/2006 06:13:00 PM