Monday, January 2, 2006

Bitchin' News (01/02)

  • The holder of a British lottery ticket worth nearly 10 million pounds had until 5:30 p.m. on Monday to collect or forfeit the entire amount. -Who is this stupid ass?!?! Do you have any idea how many shoes you could buy with that much money? No? I’ll tell you. you could buy 34,450 pairs of Jimy Choos. Hell, you could probably purchase your very own South American nation with that kind of dough!
  • Churchill’s plan to electrocute Hitler. According to the notes, Churchill planned to import an electric chair from the U.S. especially for Hitler’s execution. -These people had no imagination. How could they consider that fit punishment for all the things that sick bastard did? They should have hired someone like me to give them ideas. For example, out of the top of my head: I’d have hung him by the balls in public square and had people stone him to death, or maybe have him sodomized by a donkey while people took turns to beat him with bamboo sticks. Will think of some more and get back to you...
  • Forty-one whales stranded on New Zealand’s Farewell Spit Saturday night were shot. The whales were spotted on New Years Eve and were shot because Department of Conservation (DOC) representatives said it was too dangerous to try to refloat the whales. -This type of thing makes me very mad. I’m sure there could have been another way around this!
  • When Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch, a new slang term was born. And now, “jump the couch” has been named the Slang of the Year by the editors of the Historical Dictionary of American Slang. The dictionary defines “jump the couch” as exhibiting “strange or frenetic behavior.” -LOL Tom will never be able to live that down. Not that I think he cares much.
  • The 10 best movie scenes of 2005. Men share their feelings, shed some tears during emotional on-screen year.
  • U2 frontman Bono has revealed that his campaigning against global poverty has caused tensions within the group.

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