Sunday, April 9, 2006

Vicious Trollop: All around bitch and casting director

After the grief brought upon me by the devastating news that CZJ would play my beloved Rachel in the Rachel’s Holiday movie, I decided to take it upon me to find more suitable actors** to play the lead roles in this film (as obviously the person in charge of casting for this movie is a halfwit crack junkie in dire need of prescription glasses).

Finding a Rachel managed to be a bit of a trial. I needed someone that was pretty enough to make her appealing, funny enough to make her likable and young enough to make her real. You’d think this wasn’t so hard to find, but funny enough, everyone in Hollywood is so bloody gorgeous it was like finding a needle in a haystack. (Never really gotten that saying, btw. Why would anyone look for a needle in a haystack to begin with? If you lost your needle, just get a fucking new one! Geesh, how cheap can you get?)

In the end, it came down to only three actresses; there really wasn’t much to choose from!

Natalie Portman

Scarlett Johansson

Keira Knightley

Any of them should do for the part. None (except for maybe Natalie) have that conventional Hollywood beauty about them; they’re beautiful, but in an exotic way. They’re all fairly good actresses, and being as bloody thin as they are, they could pass as starving coke addicts any day of the week LOL.

**Will hunt for yummy sexy actors to play the shagalicious Luke Costello tomorrow. *wink*

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22 comment(s):

Anonymous Tart said...

Well doll, you know I'm going to have to disagree with your choices! LOL. It's my nature to be contrary :D

I'd have to remove KK from the list pronto. Her face is annoying - something wrong with her mouth that drives me bonkers. NP is too pretty, too jewish to look irish LOL. SJ - too pretty fullstop.

Rachel needs to be quite ordinary, but still attractive. I would probably pick a British actress - perhaps Anna Friels or Kelly Reilly. :D

As for Luke, I'm thinking Rufus Sewell baby. He is dee-vine :P

4/09/2006 08:02:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

You contrary Tart!!! lol

I hadn't heard of either Ana Friels or Kelly Reilly.

Anna is very weird looking, and how shall I put this? UGLY lol but I think this Kelly girl is PERFECT! :D Will add her to my selection!!!

As for Rufus Sewell I'd forgotten about him; almost had an orgasm when I googled his pics. He is a perfect Luke! *sigh*

4/09/2006 11:04:00 AM  

Anonymous Angela low said...

Have you all thought about Bryce Dallas Howard? She is American but ordinary looking enough.

4/09/2006 12:06:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Some more rufus pics :P


Dreamy eyes


4/09/2006 12:54:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh, and btw, he should really change his name to something else. Really, Rufus, sounds like the name of a country dog lol

4/09/2006 12:56:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Okay babe, if THAT guy is the Luke you've been talking about.. :S I'm sorry but this RUINS the picture/book for me. LOL Oh god, now i won't be able to read RH's without thinking of this Ruffles guy! Ack! Too bad he sounds like such a dream.. :S

4/09/2006 01:32:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I'll be posting other choices for Luke later one. Maybe you'll like one of them.

You're as contrary as Tart! it must be contagious lol

4/09/2006 02:29:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

oh, where to begin?
Trollop, although lovely choices I would say KK is closest to pulling off Rachel but I'm with Tart her mouth is weird. As for SJ she makes me want to beat my head against a wall sometimes. NP might work but that's only b/c I really like her. She might be able to pull of drug addict/anorexic. It's possible.
I looked up Anna Friel. She is quite cute if I was looking at the right actress (VT you think she's ugly?) but maybe a bit soft to play Rachel. I've also never seen her act so what do I know. And as for the other chick I'd say she isn't cute enough.
Now Rufus, thanks for 'dreamy eyes' pic Trollop. He may work for Luke. This gives me a project. I'm going on search. I still have to find an actress who could play Min in Bet Me to tell GWB.
I'm off to search for Luke. Who, btw is MINE!

4/09/2006 02:35:00 PM  

Anonymous Tart said...

I definitely think it should be a British actress, American actresses can never do a decent British or Irish accent - just shuddering thing about Gwynneth Paltrow in Emma LOL.

I've had a few more ideas for Rachel - Kelly McDonald, Romola Garai or Kate Winslett?

And Rufus Sewell is hawt! I'd do him LOL. How about James Purefoy, he's also very lovely and I'd do him :D

4/09/2006 06:45:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I'm just saying that guy is not even close to being the gorgeous, sexy guy you've been talking about. Come on babe. You poking at TBH every chance you get is teasing and me saying this guy's ugly is contrary? :P

I'm sorry, Vixen, i doubt Luke is yours. No one can get him from Trollop. I doubt if even Rachel could. LOL

4/09/2006 09:12:00 PM  

Blogger BULLSEYE said...

Say wha...

4/09/2006 09:30:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

I thought about this and since I'm a fair and nice person I will let Trollop have Luke since she did rec the book to me and I never would've found him anyway (or at least maybe not so soon). So Trollop you can have him. *Sniff*
BUT, I will not budge on Cal!

James Purefoy could be a good choice for Luke too. How do you know all these actors names, Tart? I see the name, think "WHO?" then look them up and go "AH HA!". Good memory you have.

4/09/2006 09:41:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh now we're talking!

I know this James guy, seen him in movies like that medieval one with Heath Ledger and Reese W's regency movie VANITY FAIR (he's also at HBO's Rome, don't know him by name though LOL). Anyway, this guy i like. :D Definitely much better than Ruffles. :P

4/09/2006 10:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Tart said...

I (shameless name dropping) actually know James Purefoy :D Not very well, but I'd see him around and we have a few mutual friends.

He is gorgeous, makes me heart go all pitty pat LOL.

And Vixen, it is a talent of mine to always remember the names of good looking British actors, as I do have a thing for them (it's the voice), Damian Lewis, Andrew Lincoln, Adrien Lester, Robson Green, Ewan McGregor... see I knew all those years living in London would pay off!

4/09/2006 10:46:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

I am green, bright green with jealousy.
Lucky Bitch!
I too am a sucker for a British accent.
I'm going to go look up those other guys you mentioned.
Tart, you keep hooking me up with more sexy guys to look at. You're a lovely bitch as well as a lucky one.

4/09/2006 11:04:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/10/2006 08:28:00 AM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Tart is right about American actresses screwing up Irish accents. Being Irish, (and proud of it) I tend to get sickened when dumb people try to sound Irish and end up mixing Scottish and Irish. Two different brogues Hollywood, get it right. And no, no one has tried to “steal me lucky charms.” I’m Irish, not a cereal connoisseur.

I'm willing to to be the Irish actress in the movie if that means I get to make out with a hottie. LOL

4/10/2006 08:29:00 AM  

Blogger vanilla said...

Like the BB new look.

4/10/2006 09:11:00 AM  

Blogger Jet said...

Of those three, I'd have to say it's no contest in my eyes- Kiera Knightly would be excellent imho. Scarlet Johansson, if you'd seen her in the first movie I'd ever seen her in (Ghost Girl)- is not as unconventional looking to me. I don't know, I just saw her as average then- still have no clue how she flew off the charts into special. Pardon me for being a bit synical =p
Also, you said she was a drug addict in the book (I've never read it so bear w me and don't flog pls =p) and since Kiera has really no cleavage at all- I could totally picture her in a role like that.
As for a tasty leading man- I have to go with Johnny Lee Miller. He's not a widely known actor, but he's absolutely delicious in my eyes. Plus, in Trainspotting, he did a Scottish accent, so he may be a good fit for ya. Check him out- he's at least good eye candy~!

4/12/2006 12:24:00 PM  

Blogger Dylan said...

Of those three, I'd have to say Keira gets my vote! I think she'd be the perfect Rachel!

4/14/2006 02:05:00 PM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

i say chuck the book and make Watermelon by MK instead.

4/16/2006 12:53:00 PM  

Blogger Camilla said...

Jonny Lee Miller for Luke!! But really, WTF? CZJ as Rachel? That's very odd considering that CZJ is in her mid/late 30s and is gorgeous in a glamouros sort of way and Rachel Walsh (OMG! I LOOVE Helen *G*) is 29 and slightly attractive in a girl next door sort of way. This is almost on par with Drew Barrymore and her horrid attempt at an English accent in Ever After. Blech. I hate casting couches.

4/19/2006 09:29:00 PM