“Variety is reporting Catherine Zeta-Jones is in negotiations for the lead role in the dramatic movie, Rachel’s Holiday, based on the novel by Marian Keyes. Francesca Joseph will direct Rachel’s Holiday for Working Title Films, with Alison Owen, Tim Bevan and Eric Fellner producing the movie.”
*Shock* *gasp* *utter horror* “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Vicious Trollop as her nearly perfect body *wink* landed gracefully on the floor, fainting from abysmal dismay!
How can this be? How can Hollywood ruin one of my favorite books by having Catherine Zeta-Jones play my adored Rachel?!? It is preposterous. It’s unheard of. It’s sacrilegious! I mean, not only can CZJ not act to save her life, she’s like 10 years older than MK’s 27-year-old character!
CZJ is completely wrong to play Rachel Walsh. She’s too old, too pretty, too perfect looking and too composed. This woman doesn’t look like any sane man has ever turned her down! And, really, let’s be honest here, she isn’t even funny!!! How are we to believe she’s an insecure, almost unemployed drug-addict who believes herself to be ugly, fat, with huge feet and totally undeserving to be loved by a great man?
I never thought about this book being a movie; the thought of finding an actress to play Rachel never even crossed my mind. But honestly, in my list, CZJ would have been right under Mickey Rourke for the part.
I’m not sure who’s in charge of casting for this film, but please, if you have Dr. Phil lined up to play Luke Costello, I beg you shoot me now—there is only so much my bitchy little heart can take!!!