Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Rachel's Holiday the movie *groan*

Looking for the Rachel’s Holiday cover to change what I’m reading in sidebar, I bumped across a picture of Catherine Zeta-Jones. “Mmmmm,” I thought, “that’s odd. What is she doing in my search?” Being the curious bitch that I am, I decided to click on the link to see what was going on—to my undying regret that is...

Variety is reporting Catherine Zeta-Jones is in negotiations for the lead role in the dramatic movie, Rachel’s Holiday, based on the novel by Marian Keyes. Francesca Joseph will direct Rachel’s Holiday for Working Title Films, with Alison Owen, Tim Bevan and Eric Fellner producing the movie.”

*Shock* *gasp* *utter horror* “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Vicious Trollop as her nearly perfect body *wink* landed gracefully on the floor, fainting from abysmal dismay!

How can this be? How can Hollywood ruin one of my favorite books by having Catherine Zeta-Jones play my adored Rachel?!? It is preposterous. It’s unheard of. It’s sacrilegious! I mean, not only can CZJ not act to save her life, she’s like 10 years older than MK’s 27-year-old character!

CZJ is completely wrong to play Rachel Walsh. She’s too old, too pretty, too perfect looking and too composed. This woman doesn’t look like any sane man has ever turned her down! And, really, let’s be honest here, she isn’t even funny!!! How are we to believe she’s an insecure, almost unemployed drug-addict who believes herself to be ugly, fat, with huge feet and totally undeserving to be loved by a great man?

I never thought about this book being a movie; the thought of finding an actress to play Rachel never even crossed my mind. But honestly, in my list, CZJ would have been right under Mickey Rourke for the part.

I’m not sure who’s in charge of casting for this film, but please, if you have Dr. Phil lined up to play Luke Costello, I beg you shoot me now—there is only so much my bitchy little heart can take!!!

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10 comment(s):

Blogger zephyr said...

I love Marian Keyes and Rachel's Holiday. I absolutely agree that CZJ is THE worst pick for the movie! But that is Hollywood for you- to cast reality as a perfect plastic bubble.

But those of us who are fans of fiction know that only our imaginations can compare to the real thing.

4/04/2006 06:44:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oh poor baby... Maybe they'll cast Clint Eastwood as Luke like you've always dreamt of. It would surely be interesting to see him in leather pants..

Not laughing i swear!!!

4/04/2006 07:43:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Oooh! Maybe Sean Connery should play Luke! I saw ENTRAPMENT years ago, i swear babe, he and Catherine look good together! Also think about it, with SC playing him, Luke can wear kilts--and totally go commando too! Uh-huh, uh-huh.. ;)

4/04/2006 07:58:00 PM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

I'm completely mortified. This is the worst news ever. I am in total agreement here Trollop. EWWW! CZJ should not be Rachel. No one out there could play Rachel. Great, they'll make this into a movie, I'll resist seeing, then I'll give in, then I'll be pissed that it sucked just like I am every other time they turn my fav. books into movies.*
And I was having such a nice day.

*the exception to this being Bridget Jone's Diary

4/04/2006 09:13:00 PM  

Anonymous Tart said...

Bad, bad, bad casting choice there. I will not be seeing this movie, because I really can't stand CZJ LOL.

Is there a lack of credible 20-something actresses in Hollywood? Surely they can come up with someone better than this Welsh bint?

4/04/2006 10:03:00 PM  

Anonymous Sasha said...

Haven't read the book, so have nothing to say other than:
"Nearly perfect body, VT???" Sasha says in shocked dismay.

I thought it was perfect...LOL. What went wrong, darling? It was the chocolate, wasn't it? ;)

4/04/2006 11:05:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

No - Nutella - it's obvious!

4/05/2006 01:32:00 AM  

Anonymous Sasha said...

LOL, aggie, good one. I did forget about the nutella obsession. Thank God I am over it - temporarily! :P

4/05/2006 02:15:00 AM  

Anonymous Mikey said...

Oh man, CZJ would be a horrible Rachel. I always imagined her to have a sweet and cute kind of look, and to look a little more like a "normal woman" than czj... if u get me *_*; aww... and i was so happy they were going to make a movie out of the book..

I just hope they pick someone good as Luke, if they don't I'll bloody well kill them >.<

8/02/2006 10:56:00 AM  

Blogger Lenamanda said...

I'm sorry, but I have to say (and I know, I'll regret it) that I simply adore CZJ. Sometimes my sub-concious is kind enough to allow me to look like her in my dreams, therefore I am happy to hear that she will play one of my favourite fictitious characters. Yes, I agree: I don't really see her match the descriptions of Rachel at all - but we all now Hollywood can sometimes surprise us (usually in a negative way, but ...). Let's wait for the movie...By the bye: I think Clive Owen would be a great Luke!

8/21/2006 07:58:00 AM