Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Ay, caramba!

I’m not sure if I should be sharing this, but I thought you fine ladies should be warned: THERE ARE FREAKS EVERYWHERE IN CYBER SPACE! EVEN THE SEEMINGLY NORMAL HOT ONES!!!

Alright. *deep breath* So, one night, I was minding my own business (a rather rare occurrence I should admit) lying in bed and reading, when my computer did that beeping thingy when someone is trying to contact you. I thought it was Trollop—she’s the only one who disturbs me during ungodly hours and wakes me up. So, putting my book down, I went over to look. But this time it wasn’t that evil woman; just one of those unknown callers I usually get from Skype.

Generally I ignore these requests. First, I don’t answer people I don’t know. Second, more often than not, I’m pretty sure they’re not my type LOL. What’s the point then, right? In any case, I was going back to reading when he called again. *Hmm. So you’re one of those persistent callers, huh?* As if he heard me he then proceeded to send me a message. I was going to ignore it as usual when I *gasp* saw how hot he looked! OMG. I swear, you guys, this was THE hottest Skype-lurker dude that had ever contacted me! And get this, not only was he incredibly yummy he was Italian too!!!

My first thought was: Are my years of yearning for a freakin’ dickin’ hot fling with an oh-so-lickable Italian stud finally going to end? *intake of breath* Oh my good lord in heaven, I beg thee!

With my knees wobbling, heartbeat raising—verra excited, you see—I answered: *Hullo.* Within a minute or two, we chatted. It was going fine; he was nice. He then sent me a picture of himself and, ooh la la, I thought I hit the jackpot LOL. But then:**

Perv: Can you send me a hot photo of you?
Harlot: Er, no, sorry. I don’t send pics to people I just met.
Perv: Oh, that’s nice, I just did it.
Harlot: I didn’t ask for it, you sent them.
Perv: ;(
Harlot: Am I supposed to be swayed by tears? :P
Perv: No, I feel sad now. ;) I just wanted to give you a show on my webcam. Now I won’t.
Harlot: That’s fine.
Perv: Okay, you don’t like the show.
Harlot: I didn’t say that. How could I? I haven’t seen it.
Perv: You want to see it?
Harlot: What’s it about?
Perv: On my webcam, you can ask me anything. I will do it.
Harlot: What do you mean?
Perv: You can ask me to undress.
Harlot: *Pause* Okay, LOL. I think I have to go. Bye!

UNDRESS??? Oh fuck. I was honestly shock! I didn’t even think! Just wanted to leave as fast as I could and I did! For the love of all that is good and holy, I answer an unknown caller once in a blue moon and I get a PERV!!!

*Sigh* Oh well...

But... you know, when I finally considered what happened, I think I might have passed on something good. :P I mean, seriously, how often do you get to meet a HOT guy on line—a gorgeous ITALIAN guy—who says to me, “You can ask me anything. I will do it.” *groan* I guess I just panicked. I’ve never done anything of the sort before. (Yes, despite what people think, I don’t go around having cyber sex—or any type of sex for that matter—with strangers!) Of course, afterwards, I told Trollop all about this. And guess what that heathen had to say (after laughing at me, like, for ten minutes): “Babe, next time say yes and watch the show. And you better three-way me so I can watch too!”

**This is the original copy of our conversation. The only thing I altered is his name.

Labels: ,

42 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Ay caramba! is right you dirrty perv. You always get the weirdest fucks contacting you LOL I've told you many times you have a "psycho magnet" thingy going on! :P

But you know, the next time a hot italian (even if he is a nutter) wants to take his clothes off for you let me know and I'll watch the show with you :P

7/18/2006 01:00:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I am not a psycho magnet!!! :@

Anyway babe, next time. :P When another hot Italian calls. *sigh*

7/18/2006 01:14:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

LOL! Harlot, this is funny!

I can't believe you passed on that one. I guess I would be shocked too, or scared, especially when it's with a stranger and you've never done it. I think cyber sex could be very sexy if you're doing it with your man. ;)

7/18/2006 01:21:00 PM  

Anonymous lola lovegood said...

Never had cyber sex, but if a hot italian stud wants to show me his goods I'd say "yes baby, how fast can you take it all off" =P

7/18/2006 01:31:00 PM  

Blogger Dance Chica said...

Yeah but how do you know that guy was really who he said he was? That pic could have been anybody's. You accept, he starts taking off his clothes only to give you a taste of wrinkly balls....LOL.

7/18/2006 01:39:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...


I've never had cyber sex either. Not that there are hot Italian guys calling me. Wouldn't it be hard? I mean typing "oh god, oh god, gasp, oh god, more more more!" while trying to have an orgasm? :P

7/18/2006 02:09:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...


We all know where cyber sex leads. Sticky keyboards.

7/18/2006 02:34:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

LOL, Harlot, you should have said yes. OK, I'll share something. A guy I know started sending me messages and it started to get kind of hot. We just kept going back and forth I had never done that before. LOL. It's fun. ;)

7/18/2006 03:23:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Isabella, iti s easier to type, stop, type, stop. And yes, for however long is necessary. LOL

I don't think there's something wrong with cyber sex. It's just fantasy anyway. :)

7/18/2006 03:32:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

I think cyber sex is fun and good. As long as you're not harming anyone or yourself for that matter, if you're enjoying it, good for you.

I mean really, describing what you want to do to each other, if you're both into it, go for it. Many people do it, no matter what sex, your religion is, etc, or who you are. It surely is a LOT safer than having "actual" sex with a stranger.

Harlot, next time, if he calls again, just say yes. If you started getting uncomfortable, just leave and log off. ;)

7/18/2006 03:46:00 PM  

Blogger Mohamad Al-Jaber said...

hi, why u seem as you hate guys that much :) anyways i liked what you wrote.. it would be useful to moderate our tactics :) anyways i really liked it and keep it flowing.. u've got male readers.. waiting your next story. take care.

7/18/2006 04:14:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Babe, I get the same shit. So glad I am not the only weird-o magnet.

I always get the creepy drunks in the bar too. I don't get it. I’ll be there with beautiful girl friends who dress cute and girly and here I am in jeans and a t-shirt that says SWAT Expert Marksman, or some other cop shirt and they get all up on me, sloppy drunk and not taking no for an answer. Two nights in a row I had to put two different drunk jerk offs on their knees, using pressure points, because they wouldn’t get their hands off me.

When Perv said you could ask him to do anything and he would do it, you should of requested to see him do dishes, vacuum, dust… At least you could say you actually saw a man do cleaning :p

7/18/2006 04:28:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Welcome. :D We love hearing from our male readers. And no, i do NOT hate men. Except from the occasional jerks and assholes, i LUB men in general. ;) Hope you post often!

I'm curious too. I mean, really, I don't think it would be easy for me to type and then concentrate to have an orgasm. :P But since Casey's an expert on this one, *ahem* we should listen to her advice. Type, stop, type, stop. Don't forget to flick of course. LOL

Is that SWAT Expert Marksman t-shirt see-through or something? Just kidding. :P I think part of it is, maybe, your big, er, gun. ;)

7/18/2006 05:23:00 PM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

Harlot, i love this!

I, ahem, enjoy some cyber stuff. :P I flirt a lot and have fun but really, when it comes to cyber sex, it has to be with someone I know. When the boyfriend is away, phone sex is great, LOL, but sometimes cyber sex is good too. ;) It's definitely more fun to play up your partner's desires when you know what they want. The same goes with you. It's easier to get what you want out of the session if your partner knows just which of your buttons to push.

I just want to say, I love that we can have these discussions here. We're all adults and open-minded individuals. And everyone expresses themselves in a nice manner. BBs, you rock!

7/18/2006 06:03:00 PM  

Anonymous Roxanne said...

Harlot, too funny!

I used to have a bit of cyber sex in my youth (3 years ago LMAO) but I never used a webcam then later on read a story about a woman who was having a cyber relationship with her grandfather without knowing it! Talk about gross LMAO Needless to say that was the end of that for me.

Have I told you guys how much I love this site?


7/18/2006 06:44:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Harlot, love your story! :D

I think cyber sex should be with substance to be fulfilling. I mean, I could never go into a chatroom and get myself off with someone I didn't know. Seriously. Lord only knows who or what's the other side of the line.

GWB, do the dishes, vacuum, dust? LMAO

Rock on, bitches!

7/18/2006 07:15:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Casey, so it's type. Stop. Type. Stop.

Got it. Oh, and yeah, flick and rub. =P LOL

7/18/2006 07:19:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I think cyber sex has its downside too. Getting too attached to your partner is definitely bad. This is cyber space after all, people tend to disappear. Logging off after getting off. And I think it's specially not good to actually meet people you've met online. God, that was a bad idea. LOL

7/18/2006 07:27:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

OMG that's so funny!!!

Harlot, next time, you know what to do. And then TELL US ABOUT IT! ;)


7/18/2006 07:49:00 PM  

Anonymous p said...

Is cyber sex considered cheating?

7/18/2006 08:24:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

My previous boyfriend lives far away from me. So mostly, we had cyber sex. ;) Usually we did it through IM. We've also sent each other erotic emails. The thing though, whenever I did it, I just ached for him even more and started missing him a lot.

7/18/2006 08:48:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Is it cheating when there's no physical contact? I think it depends on you.

If you're in a committed relationship and then got yourself involved in a serious cyber sex relationship, you have to decide for yourself whether your cyber relationship is cheating or not. If it feels like cheating, then it most likely is. But if you see your cybering as nothing more than a little harmless fun and has nothing to do with your relationship, then perhaps it's not cheating.

7/18/2006 08:58:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

So, can you share that naked thing he sent you? That would be a boredom relief today. My kids decided that it would be neat if they join the Australian Yoddeling Society! They've been practicing all day, all hours of it. I am about to ran out of my house naked, screaming and jumping off the bridge in the interstate!

7/18/2006 09:00:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Harlot, I'm not a cyber sex expert! Just you know, sharing what I think works. ;)

Izzie, yes don't forget flicking and rubbing. LOL

Roxy, OMG that's gross! LOL Yikes.

7/18/2006 09:30:00 PM  

Blogger C said...

That's so funny. I have talked to a cyber-perv before. No shows though but he tells me some pretty interesting things.

7/18/2006 10:24:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Harlot, that's funny! Would you show us the pic of the hot Italian guy? :P

I think cyber sex is a safe alternative to having an affair. So is it cheating? That I cannot answer. I like Lollie's point of view about whether you are or not cheating through cyber sex. Besides, I'm sure we're all aware that not all people doing it are single. Most of them are married.

7/18/2006 11:17:00 PM  

Anonymous wood said...

There are many freaks out there in cyberworld! Especially men posing as women... HEELLLOOOOOOOO....do they really think I can't tell?

7/18/2006 11:31:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Harlot LOL, you bitch. :P

All I can say about cyber romance, just because you're not actually touching does not mean you're completely safe. Don't release any personal info. We'd like to think everyone is honest but usually they're not. The person you're talking to could very well be an ogre.

7/18/2006 11:39:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Whoa... I'm loving this thread!

I think cyber sex is worth trying. I mean, really, if only to have the experience, LOL. You might even learn a thing or two about yourself in the process. Besides, it's all free. :P

7/19/2006 12:04:00 AM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Jordis, I agree. Also you don't have to go dress up, or apply make up, or fix your hair in perfection. You can be all sweaty in your ugly t-shirt and smelly socks and still say you smell heavenly wearing a very pretty Victoria's Secret night gown. ;)

7/19/2006 12:07:00 AM  

Blogger Modano said...

I prefer IMs. I've had cyber sex once or twice, and it's nice to have that instant feedback from the woman (god, I hope they're women) that you're with.

So, Harlot, what's your username in Skype?

7/19/2006 01:21:00 AM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Good question on whether or not cyber sex is cheating. I can only speak for myself when I say, if I ever caught my man talking to someone dirty, on line or in person, I would be done with him. Just because he didn't physically have sex with the person doesn't make me feel any happier about it.

I understand sometimes, maybe, we "mentally cheat" on our other 1/2s by picturing someone else during sex, (usually someone famous) every now and then, but that, to me, is a whole different ball game.

The disrespect it would take to do something like that would be a deal breaker for me. If my man needs dirty talk to get turned on, and let’s face it, it can be a big turn on, and he is shy about it and doesn’t want to tell me, there is erotica books he can read to get what he needs. Speaking to an actual human is to personal, for me, to not be considered cheating.

7/19/2006 08:17:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

It doesn't matter whether it's cyber sex, phone sex, real sex, they're ALL relationships with OTHER people. Just thinking of your man flirting with another girl pisses you off, what more if he's actually having sex with her, whether through cyberworld or not?

7/19/2006 10:31:00 AM  

Anonymous Sinai said...

My boyfriend and I live quite a distance apart. We don't see each other as often as we'd like so cybering has become a thing for us. I love the words he writes to me, he writes me the hotest emails, describing just what he wants to do when we do get together. It's a big turn on. :)

About typing and doing it at the same time, I have to admit, I become very adept at typing one-handed.

7/19/2006 12:39:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

LMAO! Poor Harlot! I would have done the same thing but in retrospect kicked myself because lets face it... if HE wants to get naked more power to him I am all about a free show! LMAO Seriously what is he going to do... IM you to death because you refused! LOL On the other hand I like the idea of making him do "house chores!" LMAO Then somewhere out there you could be on a blog about how you are the freak for making him do laundry- can you see it? The title can be "What really turns woman on!"

I have had cybersex... with my hubby! This is SO embarrasing BUT... we were in the military so he would get deployed or what not and well... you know "keep the juices flowing and all!" SO, one time he went home to visit his family for vacation- I could not get leave, my hubby the computer man (no joke was part of his job in the military) FORGOT to wipe the hard drive completely clean of our... um... fun! SO fast forward a few years later and I am chatting with his sis and something is said, can not remember WHAT, and she says "yeah I know, my brother is a freak!" "WTF?" I think. She then tells me when thier computer crashed and her now EX-fiance who is a computer programer pulled up the hard drive to fix the prob and FINDS ALL THE PICTURES... and video! I wanted to DIE! The guy always acted kind of odd around me and I had NO idea why, NOW I know! Can I say I am really glad he is not in HER life anymore! LOL Anyway I got to thinking about that "session" and needless to say, embarrassement knows NO bounds! She has SEEN IT ALL PEOPLE and I mean ALL!!!!!! SO wanted to die! LOL

7/19/2006 08:54:00 PM  

Blogger BHB said...

Cyber sex is cool. Loads of fun. I used to do it with strangers a lot when I was single. Very eye opening - you wouldn't believe what some people find sexy! Gee I could tell ya some tales!

Harlot - shame on you! Can't believe you said no! If he comes past again send him my way - I'm on skype too!

t-girl - you poor poor thing, although doesn't it make ya feel kinda good that someone else knows you're a little bit naughty????

7/20/2006 12:05:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I'm sorry i'm laughing about your, er, misfortune, but that's just fucking funny! OMG LOL Does *ahem* your "computer man" knows his sister knows? Well, anyway, if you see her ex, just say, "I hope you enjoyed the pics/show." *ducks* LMAO :P

I'll send him your way if he calls again. :P After i'm through with him, that is. ;)

To all the new visitors, welcome. Hope you post often. :D

7/20/2006 01:18:00 AM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I would definitely try it once to see what it was like. Sounds like it could be a load of fun with the right person.
And yep, send him our way should he call again. I'm sure all the ladies here contributing could more than satisfy him.

7/20/2006 02:38:00 AM  

Anonymous Merry said...

Cyber sex is great. Just be careful not to be addicted. Sometimes people become too involved. Too attached. I used to cyber with a guy who lives in London. Traveling would have been impossible. Having said that, we remain close friends and the experience was exactly what both of us needed at the time.

7/20/2006 04:34:00 AM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

T-girl OMG, that's too funny! LOL! Are you sure your sister-in-law's ex didn't save himself some copies? LMAO

I see cyber sex as a game. It's like writing your own erotic story. Don't get too attached. Of course, it's best done with your hubby or BF. :)

7/20/2006 09:04:00 AM  

Anonymous wood said...

One of cybering's downfall is spelling. An occasional mispelling wouldn't bother you but what if you typed you want to put a "clock" in her pussy instead of "cock". What?

7/20/2006 04:22:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

OMG! NO! WHY, WHY, WHY did you have to go there???? The thought never crossed my mind... for I did not want it too and NOW... UG! I wonder if I can ask her to contact him and find out? Would that be wrong of me? LMAO He is a jackass, he just might have! THAT is nice to know, my SIL almost husband is using ME as a... um... visual for his nasty fantasies! UGH!

7/20/2006 05:11:00 PM