Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Too stupid?

Retro Bitches
Originally published on December 27, 2005

Hullo, dear readers. *g* Trollop is extremely busy taking care of her scholarship thingies. I, on the other hand, have more free time, so I was checking out our archives to fix some possible missing pics (yes I do that, obsessive bitch that I am; plus I don’t know what’s up with Blogger but this atrocity happens to some of our old posts, grr!). That’s when I came upon this article and remembered how much I loved it at the time. However, I don’t think I can say as much right now since the reason I decided to republish it (beside the fact I’m sure many of our new readers haven’t seen it) is to “honor” something really stupid I’ve done the other day (*groan* don’t ask).


When Trollop mentioned we should write about stupid heroines, I thought, “Hey, that’ll be easy.” But as I started going through many of the heroines I deemed too stupid to live, and therefore should be whacked in the head occasionally (as in every 2 or 3 paragraphs!), I suddenly found myself in a bind. How could I categorize them properly? I mean, what exactly is “too stupid”?

There are some heroines that might be called “corky,” “quirky,” or even that, at times, act a bit silly like Doris Day. She always seems to find herself in bizarre situations and does the most ridiculous things; but no one can ever say that she’s brainless.

What about Scarlett O’Hara, one of my all-time favorite heroines. We all know how much she bitched and yearned for that ding-dong Ashley when all the time she could have had the very yummy Rhett Butler, not only better than born-without-a-spine Blondie, but also the only man who could truly make her happy. Would you say that because of this she’s stupid too?

And then there are many heroines that make huge mistakes, ones that are so dumb I find myself wanting to dive into the book to bitch-slap them; but eventually they redeem themselves by learning from their falls and picking themselves up, and this I respect. I mean, isn’t character development one of the pillars of a well-written novel? These dimwitted heroines become a better person in the end. But, are they still not considered worthy of “happily ever after” because they’ve done some really idiotic things?

The thing is (as much as I hate to say this), love makes us do stupid things. We become impulsive, reckless, wild, irresponsible, crazy, totally uncaring without thinking of the consequences of our actions. I dare those who say they’ve been in love to declare they didn’t do anything foolish for it. God knows I have.

But then again, should love be an excuse to act like a total brainless twat? Hmm...

P.S. Check back later for our list of stupid heroines. Now those women I have no trouble categorizing: dumb fucktarts who should be shot down at sight. These are the broads that give romance novels a bad name. Die, you stupid bitches, die!!!

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21 comment(s):

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was very well said. Love does make dumb. Sometimes blind too.

12/28/2005 08:32:00 AM  

Anonymous Serendipity said...

Or it's not really love. But LOVE does make a convinient excuse for acting like a stupid brainless twat. It sounds more dignified...but really, take out love, this same people make same stupid acts. So is it really love?

12/28/2005 03:30:00 PM  

Blogger Marlene D. Malone said...

Here's one: that dumb bitch in Rebecca that honestly thought she could EVER be Mrs. DeWinter? Honestly who could hold a candle to Rebecca? And why try to compete, make Mr. DeWinter forget about his dead wife.

12/28/2005 05:48:00 PM  

Blogger jayscat said...

I think Alexandra from Brenda Joyce's Captive was stupid. If she said ohmygod one more time....

2/06/2006 01:15:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Oh, I haven't read this one!

Harlot, good points you've made there! I think sometimes it's hard not to be stupid for love. I know... such a shame, but I mean, it's part of all that shitty thing called falling in love. Right?

8/15/2006 11:21:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Harlot, "dumb fucktarts"? That's one to remember, lol.

This will probably not be a popular opinion but I think that JM creates some pretty "stupid heroines". How long was Mer manipulatd by her father, believing the worst of marvelous Matt! Still love her books. In fact I'm rereading REMEMBER WHEN, right now. Maybe JM makes up for her stupid heroines by creating to-die-for heroes....

On the other hand, Celeste Bradley creates some of the BEST, strongest heroines I've read. SEP,s Heroines are strong too.

I'm waiting to see who your "dimwitted heroines" are, Harlot.

8/15/2006 11:48:00 AM  

Blogger FashionLover said...

GOOD ONE! Impressed... Women's Fashion Trends

8/15/2006 12:20:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

Should love be an excuse to be stupid? Of course not. But would love make stupidity more acceptable. Probably.

It's everywhere, being "stupid" for the sake of love. Hell, it's part of it. Just look at what the world hails as one of the most important love stories in literature, Romeo and Juliet. What did they do? They both killed each other!!!

Can you blame them though? That's the question. Good post, Harlot.

8/15/2006 12:28:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Using "love" as an excuse to be a big, dumb fuck-wad is like using alcohol or being drunk as an excuse for why you had a one-night stand. You did it because you wanted to and if you knew you would feel shame you shouldn't of done it!

Now, I believe people who are in love try to do things to impress their partner or make their partner look at them as a super sexy gods/goddesses and in their minds set up something that they don't think through all the way. For example, getting mint flavored sex lube for some flavorful oral and not remembering it that mint can sting delicate skin... stupid, but not like fucking your love's brother to make your love jealous and want you more. That's not in the name of love, that is just an ignorant person.

Hotmama,
I agree. Meredith was a stupid ass. She pissed me off because she ALWAYS had to make things harder than they needed to be. Fuck her! Matt was hot though.

8/15/2006 12:48:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

I think I've done the most stupid thing "for love" when I was 18 and fancied myself irrevocably in love. I actually left home to "run away" with my lover, because my parents didn't approve of my guy. Turned out all the things they'd warn me about him were right!!!! Thank God my parents accepted me back. :( Boy, was that stupid.

8/15/2006 12:51:00 PM  

Blogger Vixen said...

I'm with Hotmama and GWB, Mer was a sad, sad heroine. Talk about wanting to bitch slap someone. I was practically pulling my hair out. But Matt *sigh*, I love him!

Now that I think about it, JM's Perfect had an annoying heroine too. She was talked into beleiving everyone else but hero (who is sexy, hot, truthfull, freaking lovely like Matt). I loved that book too but I skimmed a major part of it. Still can't believe he forgave her.

SEP does write great heroines. I loved Annable in MMIYC. She knew what she wanted and didn't settle for anything less (Trollop don't razz Heath about the foreplay, I love him!)

Love Retro Bitches. Maybe we could talk about Naked Brian again?

8/15/2006 02:51:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Not every stupidity that came from "being in love" is to impress your partner. Sometimes you do it because, as much as this would sound stupid, that's what would make you happier.

You always get hurt when you fall. You do stupid things too. That's why it's called falling in love. So why do people still do it? Because it's fun and exciting, and nothing in this world is better than it.

8/15/2006 03:07:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Well, I think "stupid is stupid does".

Yes, people might do moronic things for love, but that doesn't excuse the stupidity of said acts! Especially when they involve sticky phones, moaning and excesive panting LOL LOL LOL Some can be fun though :P

Chuck it all up to expenrience I say (being one that does really stupid things on a daily basis LOL)!

8/15/2006 04:51:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

I'm with you VT - I do a "daily daft" of some kind. As I've got older the "daft" has changed a bit, but it's still there. LOL
It was always boys/men when I was younger, now it's ...
WTF was I talking about again?

8/15/2006 05:59:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

Trollop, sticky phones? I'm afraid to ask.

I'm with Trollop and Aggie, I do something stupid each day, more so when it comes to love. I think one of the reasons for this is when you love someone, you give part of yourself to your partner. Gives him some power over you now, doesn't it? Not excuseable, but like bungee jumping, stupid thing to do, but people still do it because the freaking high it gives is worth it.

8/15/2006 06:28:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Harlot, I never likes Scarlett. I thought she was too stubborn and too selfish. I wanted her to end up with Ashley and leave Rhett to me!!!!

Good post. :)

8/15/2006 09:19:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

I saw The Aviator (Leo DiCaprio) the other day and this reminded me of Katharine Hepburn falling in love with Spencer Tracy. He's a married man but that didn't stop her to be with him. And she left Howard Hughes (single and a billionaire to boot) to have an affair with Tracy. Do you think she's stupid? I don't know. Maybe. She was happy though.

8/15/2006 10:07:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Lollie, gasp! You didn't like GWTW? I love that book!

I agree with Forrest and Trollop, "Stupid is stupid does." :P

8/15/2006 10:12:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Casey,
Trollop's a perv!!!! She's corrupting me really. *sniff*


Lollie,
I can't believe you don't like Scarlett. I lub her. ;-P Yeah, she's stubborn, she's selfish, but she's incomparable. Never read a heroine like her. She's a very strong woman who knows what she wants and will never give up until she gets it. Loved GWTW!


As for PARADISE. I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK. As much as i love TBH and SOMETHING WONDERFUL. Yep. Now, Meredith, always hated her. Why?
- She has her own Bloomingdales
- She has an ex who looks like Hubbell Gardner (seriously!)
- She has Matt Farrell for a husband!

Just for that third reason, i'll LOATHE her and her horrible fashion sense FOR-E-VER. Matt Farrell is MINE!!!

8/15/2006 11:38:00 PM  

Blogger Lily Moon said...

Well said, Harlot. I too loved GWTW. It's one of my all time favorite books. Scarlett's a very stubborn woman, and I think she's very smart. :) However, as much as I love her, she's been stupid for Ashley, because she thought she loves him. But did she do some stupid things for it? That I don't think so. On the contrary, she's been very cunning.

8/16/2006 11:11:00 AM  

Blogger Lola Lovegood said...

I love Scarlett, but she was quite a bitch! =P

Good post Harlot!

8/17/2006 11:59:00 AM