Thursday, October 5, 2006

Afternoon treat

The Book Bitches are proud to present the hottest, the dreamiest, the most fuckable piece of male ass that ever graced the cover of a romance novel...

Gruffydd ap Hywel**
(or as Harlot calls him “you so fine I is wetting my knickers” hottie)



We’re sure these babies are going to be flying off the shelves! I bet they even come with a BOB warning inside! LOL

**No, I swear on my mama’s name, this isn’t a joke. This is an actual book cover! *cringe* Were I to find something like this in a bookstore I’d run the other way screaming! That guy is a fucking nightmare (pun very much intended LOL).
***BTW, it isn’t my intention to hurt the author’s feelings. Maybe she had no input whatsoever in this cover (and thinks it’s fuglier than Orlando Bloom in a leather cat suit too) but couldn’t do anything about it, hence not linking her website.



[Added 5:37 pm]
Harlot here, editing to add this photo done by Trollop after I said her darling Gruffydd reminded me of a giant. I swear, am verra innocent in all of this!


andre

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22 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Harlot and I have been laughing at this cover for days LOL. We didn't want to publish it b/c the author seems rather nice and we didn't want to hurt her feelings.

T says:
I really don't want to make her feel bad you know
T says:
but gawd she should've refused to have her name in that cover! lol
H says:
is that her real name?
H says:
i doubt there's someone named december
H says:
still, why would you use that as a pen name?
T says:
Lord knows LOL

But really, how could we leave you out of the fun? We're not that heartless LOL!

10/05/2006 03:53:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I swear this guy is the ugliest cover dude i have EVER seen. I'm sorry but he is! He looks like a nekked giant ready to stomp on the unsuspecting villagers around! And what's going on with that hair??? Is it because he's been electecuted one time too many? :/ Look, there's even lightning coming for him right there!!!!!

10/05/2006 03:59:00 PM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

I don't know if it's his farmer's tan, roadkill hair or hit hit up face but I would like to say BARF!

10/05/2006 04:12:00 PM  

Blogger Tisty said...

I've said it before: Small, unimportnat author have no say in there covers. They are given them and told, this is going to bind your story. It's a hit and miss lottery.

That said, this cover is a travesty. Who the publisher? They should be shot and their body hung out to dry in the Saraha and sold off as jerky.

(Please note: if it turns out to be the same people publishing my romance, I withdraw my curse and will apologise, decideing that even the great and good can have a bad day!!!!)

10/05/2006 04:26:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

My God, the BB's have found the missing link ... you'll both go down in history.
Ooga, ooga (the only thing missing is his club)

10/05/2006 04:28:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

WTF? Trollop, are you sure this is NOT a joke? Awful, AWFUL!

10/05/2006 04:48:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

I knew he reminded me of someone. At first I thought it was Andre the Giant, but no it's my ex. Tom Mafle Rurido LOL LOL LOL

10/05/2006 05:10:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

I just published the Andre pic with the aritcle. Too good not to be seen by everyone! LOL

10/05/2006 05:47:00 PM  

Blogger Lollie Rose said...

Why would anyone think that guy is romance cover material? And he's naked outside the castle walls too.

Trollop, that Andre pic is the funniest thing I've seen today!

10/05/2006 06:36:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

What country is this poor author's book beinging published in??

And Please, don't make us look at that Andre guy too long! It hurts :O

10/05/2006 08:11:00 PM  

Blogger Serendipity said...

We should send this picture to the model....to warn him what could happen if he let himself go.

It'll be an act of kindness

10/05/2006 09:49:00 PM  

Blogger Petra said...

This is why book covers are very important. No one who will look at this cover and say, "Oh I would like to read about that ugly giant who romances some poor maiden." EEEKK!

10/06/2006 05:53:00 AM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Oh. Dear. God. MY EYE, MY EYE!!! AAAHHHHH

10/06/2006 06:31:00 AM  

Blogger Gun_Wielding_Bitch said...

Tisty,

You write books? Did you ever mention this before and if so, where the hell was I?

Anyway, what what are some titles? Or when you said "(Please note: if it turns out to be the same people publishing my romance, I withdraw my curse and will apologise, decideing that even the great and good can have a bad day!!!!)" did you mean the romance novels you read?

10/06/2006 08:06:00 AM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

You know, he does have that lovely area by his hip bone that's pretty hot...

And sometimes we authors have a vision, we give it to the cover artists, our visions don't always meet. So while we have a lot of control, we don't have total control. If I did, I'd have me and John Cusack in a bunch of cheesy poses on all of my covers. LOL

And December seems like a pretty good sport. Or so I think she is. One of my covers was snarked on another site recently and she joined in the fun--I'm sure she can take it. LOL

Dakota :)

10/06/2006 11:16:00 AM  

Blogger Vanessa said...

OMG! Who is this monstrosity of ugliness??? Yikes, I feel sorry for the author. I don't know her but I'm thinking this cover would NEVER attract new readers.

Dakota, I guess you have to have thick skin when you're an author. Anyway, she made fun of your cover? Well, whatever your cover is can't be as BAD as this one with the giant. LOL

10/06/2006 07:01:00 PM  

Anonymous Tami said...

Dakota, lol, my eye was drawn to that "hip bone area" as well *wink*

10/06/2006 08:02:00 PM  

Blogger Danielle De Barbarac said...

Trollop, that Andre pic is funny! Anyway you're right, the resemblance is uncany. LMAO

Dakota, I love John Cusack! Oh can I please have my photo with him on your next cover? I would love it if he'd be leaning on me like I'm some chick he can't get enough of. LOL :P

10/06/2006 08:12:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

I have to agree about the hip bone, but unless this giant would always be naked (which is gross) and I wouldn't be able to look into his hip area (and lower) i don't think I could be able to look at this guy without thinking, "Yeah, Andre's long lost brother."

10/06/2006 08:36:00 PM  

Blogger Dakota Cassidy said...

LOL, Vanessa. I personally liked the particular cover for the book that was snarked. But yeah, several people joined in. You know what that's like--it's fun to crack wise if it isn't about YOU. LMAO. I don't mind. it meant the book was bought and that's okay by me :)

Tammi--great minds and all, doll. LOL

Danielle--don't make me fight you for my man John, now. It could get ugly. LOLLOL

DC :)

10/07/2006 12:01:00 PM  

Blogger Ladybug said...

You so fine I is wetting my knickers? LOL!

Is this a cover of a paperback or an ebook? This guy is just plain ugly. If I were the author I would at least protest or ask what sin I have committed to deserve this...this...caveman. Ick!

10/07/2006 12:41:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

OMG I swear I saw the guy on the cover at Pricemart today!!! I had my digicam in my bag and wanted to take a pic, but didn't want to look totally crazy following that man and his wife around snapping pics LOL!

Actually, the man I saw is just as big and ugly and had frizzier hair but was on the very chubby side LOL So I'd say andre's brother there should count his blessings! LOL

10/07/2006 07:32:00 PM