Friday, March 24, 2006

Sssh... it's the men's locker room

Do you ever wonder what men really do in their locker room? I mean, do these men actually check each other out, thinking, “Dude, mine’s definitely bigger than that.” Or if they pat each others’ butts—just, you know, to see if it’s as firm as it looks. Or maybe they massage each others’ pecs for fun, like cheerleaders on low budget porn flicks are always doing. Hmm, because honestly, *rolling eyes* real women only do that on special occasions. :P

Since I have to appease my curiosity, I embarked on an enlightening quest to look for some “proof” that can show me at least a glimpse of what’s really happening behind these closed doors. Now, behold, the things I found in search of truth:



Okay, I swear on Trollop’s buttplug I did NOT get these from a gay calendar LOL, but they could have fooled me! Are we, the women, supposed to find these “hot” because really, I’m getting confuse...

Er, anyway, here’s a locker room scene from my favorite Rachel Gibson book, See Jane Score. Maybe you guys will find this excerpt/“info” more interesting. *wink* Enjoy!

She headed to the Chinook’s locker room, flashing her press pass. Her stomach twisted into knots as she moved down the hall. She was a professional. She could do this. No problem.
Keep your gaze pinned to their eyes, she reminded herself as she took out her small tape recorder. She entered the room and stopped as if the bottoms of her Doc Martins were suddenly glued to the floor. Men in various degrees of undress stood in front of benches and open stalls, peeling off their clothes. Hard muscles and sweat. Bare chests and backs. A flash of a naked stomach and butt, and...

Good Lord! Her cheeks burned and her eyes about jumped from her skull as she couldn’t help but stare at Vlad “the Impaler” Fetisov’s Russian-sized package. Jane jerked her gaze up, but not before she discovered that what she heard about European men was true. Vlad wasn’t circumcised, and that was just a little more info than she wanted. For one brief second she thought she should mumble an apology, but of course she shouldn’t apologize, because that would be admitting that she’d seen something. ...

You’ve see a penis before, Jane. No big deal. If you’ve seen one penis, you’ve seen them all... Well, okay, that’s not true. Some penises are better than the others. Stop! Stop thinking about penises! she chastened herself. You’re not here to stare. ... She wove her way through players and other journalists, careful to keep her gaze above the shoulders, but she was the only female in a room filled with big, rugged, naked hockey players. She couldn’t help but feel very much out of place. ...

Soon it became obvious to her that some of the other reporters resented her too, and the players were not going to answer any more of her questions. ...
Fine, she could write the column with what she already had, she thought as she made her way to the team’s goalie. Luc sat on a bench in the corner of the room, a big duffel on the floor by his feet. He’d removed everything but his thermal underwear bottoms and socks. He was bare from the waist up, and he’d wrapped a towel around his neck. The ends hung halfway down his chest, and as he watched her approach, he shot water from a plastic bottle into his mouth. A bead of moisture dripped form his bottom lip, slipped down his chin, and dropped to his sternum. Leaving a trail of moisture, it descended the defined planes of his chest and hard stomach and dipped into his navel. He has a black horseshoe tattooed on his lower belly. The shadowing of the groove and nail holes gave depth and dimension to his flesh, and the heels curved upward on each side of his belly button. The bottom of the tattoo disappeared beneath the waistband of his underwear, and Jane doubted he needed the luck of the horseshoe tattooed above his goods.

“I don’t give interviews,” he said before she could ask him a question. “With all the research you’ve done on me, I’d have thought you’d know that.”
She did, but she wasn’t feeling particularly amiable. The boy’s club had shoved her out and she felt like shoving back. She turned on her recorder. “How do you feel about tonight’s game?”
She didn’t expect him to answer and he didn’t. ...

“Until tonight, I had no idea hockey fans were so rude. Those men behind me were drunk and disgusting. I can’t imagine standing up and yelling, ‘Eat me,’ in a crowd like they did.”
He pulled the towel from around his neck and finally said, “Ace, if you’d stood up and yelled, ‘Eat me,’ I doubt you’d be standing here right now bugging the hell out of me.”
“Why’s that?” “Because I imagine, you’ve gotten a taker or two.”
It took a few moments for his meaning to become clear, and when it did, shocked laughter spilled from her lips. “I guess it’s not the same thing, is it?”
“Not quite.” He stood and hooked his thumb beneath the elastic of his underwear. “Now run along and harass somebody else.” When she didn’t move, he added, “Unless you want to embarrass yourself some more.”
“I’m not embarrassed.” “You keep blushing like your face is on fire.”
“It’s very hot in here,” she lied. Was he the only one who’d noticed? Probably not. “Very hot.”
“It’s about to get hotter. Stick around and you’re going to get an eyeful of the good wood.”

Labels: , ,

21 comment(s):

Anonymous mai said...

The guy with the tattoo is hot!

3/24/2006 02:50:00 AM  

Blogger Marg said...

They are beautiful things sometimes aren't they!

3/24/2006 08:39:00 AM  

Anonymous Vixen said...

Abs of guy holding towel are yummy. But in top right 'group' pic. guy with longish hair is creaping me out!
Harlot, I think I might have to pick up that Rachel Gibson book! Assuming it's not about naked gay men in lockers rooms *wink*

3/24/2006 09:21:00 AM  

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

have i ever told you guys that i love you?

3/24/2006 09:50:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

K, those men are gay, no self respecting heterosexual man would be caught dead, showering like that with other men.

And the guy peeing is just plain weird! lol I laughed for an hour after I saw that pic.

My fave is tattoo guy, though what's up with that "bee stung" lips look?

3/24/2006 09:56:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

I like the one where you can just...see... part... of his "good wood". Love that Line lol !

And it was a great book!

Vixen, I also loved RGs TRULY MADLY YOURS and DAISY'S BACK IN TOWN. I just looked thru all of them and decided thy're all very good. Much better that her latest!

Enjoyed the pics Harlot (except the one in the shower. The guy leaning over looks like he's ready to take it in the ass from the guy next to him :S

3/24/2006 10:59:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Okay, some of these men are probably gay, lol. But man, they're good to look at. :P

Vixen, Rachel Gibson's earlier books i really enjoyed. Love her hockey books, SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE and SEE JANE SCORE. :D

3/24/2006 11:57:00 AM  

Blogger Tiffanie said...

THANKS for the great pictures. Nice to see -- ahhh, you guys are the best ;)

3/24/2006 12:20:00 PM  

Blogger T-girl said...

HELLO! Well that was a nice suprise to scroll down too... the mens locker room never looked like that in my school though... if you saw the nasties I went to school with you would know why! LOL

Thanks ladies!

3/24/2006 01:35:00 PM  

Anonymous 2nd Amdt said...

*sigh* Yes, this is why I cringe my way through the occasional liberal rant and keep coming back. But do you have to crop the pictures so closely? ;-)

3/24/2006 04:29:00 PM  

Blogger Freak Magnet said...

Oh my. That's all I've to say.

Oh my, oh my, oh my.

Wallpaper time!

3/24/2006 08:59:00 PM  

Blogger marcos said...

definitivamente te estás superando !!!! que tipos tan sexies, uff, echaba de menos fotos como estas en este blog.. felicitaciones ... hay más ?
Leo este blog a diario, me encanta de verdad y me divierto mucho... estas fotos ayudan más todavia..
Un abrazo

3/24/2006 09:46:00 PM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Good wood BB's!
Although I suspect Mr Tatts is gaybo!
If I'd a known about these kind of guys in locker rooms I'd have taken more notice of how to drill holes in walls!
D.I.Y. classes - here I come!

3/24/2006 11:07:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

They all have great bods though, but really who am I kidding, they probably are all gay *sniff*

3/25/2006 01:22:00 AM  

Blogger Bawdy Babe said...

2nd Amdt so glad you stick around despite the liberal tone of our politics. But we want to hear your opinions, to be closed minded to opposing POVs does a disservice to everyone. We can all learn from each other and learn to disagree w/ grace and civility. Besides we got you by balls cause we know you like harlot's porn. hehe.

3/25/2006 08:11:00 PM  

Blogger kupkake said...

Yes, hotties, but c'mon ladies, would straight guys really pose for these shots? And I second the peeing guy opinion, that's just weird. Golden showers? Ewwww...
Big sigh! Do like the guy taking off his shirt, though... Hmph! Men!

3/25/2006 09:04:00 PM  

Anonymous Helena said...

Yummy eye candy - gay, straight, who cares when you're just lookin!

3/26/2006 07:12:00 AM  

Anonymous Tart said...

Oh, they're so fine. My mouth is all tingly just thinking about licking them :D

3/26/2006 07:22:00 PM  

Anonymous Rebelheart said...

YUM!!I just close my mouth...but I am kinda drooling!

3/27/2006 05:56:00 AM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

fucking bitch go to the hell

4/15/2006 04:59:00 PM  

Anonymous satan said...

natali portman is very very HOT

4/15/2006 05:00:00 PM