BBC: Something Borrowed (Day 1)
Can you believe Something Borrowed is already our third book for our BBC? I remember when Trollop and I were just making rules for it, thinking of a certain book to begin with, our excitement after presenting it to you guys, and then starting off with so few participating... *sniff* But after last month’s discussion, (it was great reading all your answers/opinions!) I hope everyone’s enjoying our little book club as much as Trollop and I do. (I’m sorry I can be bossy at times, pushing you guys to read our book selection LOL, but you know, it’s for your own good. *nods* For the new readers who want to join, all you have to do is post your answers. :D)
Alright, enough with the niceties, I know you are all waiting to start. *g* So here’s our first set of questions:
Related:
Alright, enough with the niceties, I know you are all waiting to start. *g* So here’s our first set of questions:
- What do you think was the real impetus behind Rachel’s decision to sleep with Dex after her birthday party? Was it about her desire to break out of her good girl persona? Or was it about a long standing resentment toward Darcy?
- How do you view Dex? How would you describe Dex and Rachel’s relationship? What drew them together? Did you root for them to be together? Do you think they have true love?
- Under what circumstances is it justified to choose love over friendship? How important is it for women to stick together? Have you ever been in a friendship like Darcy and Rachel’s? Should you ever jettison a friendship that isn’t working anymore?
Related:
Labels: bitches book club
I think it just happened that first time they slept together. Rachel didn't think of her resentment with Darcy not until when she and Dex were already having the affair. Doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. Sometimes, things just happen.
This is funny. You know who i picture as Dex? The new Superman LOL. Don't know why! He's not even old enough and i don't have a thing for Brandon Routh, geesh (in fact he's too young and not my taste)--not that i have a thing for Dex.. :/
Anyway, at first i liked Dex and i rooted for him and Rachel to have sex again LOL. But after 1/3 of the book, i started hating all the lying, and of course the cheating. HATE cheaters. WHY WHY WHY didn't he just break it off with Darcy? I know, i know, after being together for seven years, you can't just break it off with someone, too many things to consider, blah blah. Still, that's no excuse for being with Darcy and then do her bestfriend! And as Trollop mentioned, he's just too suave with all of it. :/ (Maybe that's why the new Superman always comes to mind--too calm, like nothing can affect him.)
I think love always wins no matter what. Too strong a force to be stopped. If it's true, and the guy also wants to be with you, the other girl should jsut let it go. Besides, why would you want to be second best, or be together with someone while all the time you know he loves another?
Friends are always important. There are even times when you actually need a friend instead your family. I do think when a relationship is not working anymore, just let it go. Especially when both of you are just suffering. Or like in Rachel and Darcy's case when one likes to do is beat the other up, while the other just accepts it. Trollop once told me that in any friendship, both parties should be getting something in equal measure. Otherwise, it's just not worth it.
6/26/2006 01:35:00 PM
1. I too don't think that it just happened. Though I believe Rachel had always resented Darcy. Maybe, somehow, that played a part why she slept with Dex in the first place...
2. I wanted Dex and Rachel to be together! I hated Darcy and all her bitchiness and the way she always has to get what she wants, even if it means over Rachel's happiness and pride. I agree with Trollop about Rach and Dex's resentment toward Darcy, that it's one of the factor that drew them together.
3. When there's a guy in between yo and your GF, whoever it is that he likes best, that's who he should be with.
6/26/2006 01:49:00 PM
Sob--you're on a subject I know nothing about. But "hey there" anyway. LOL
Dakota :)
6/26/2006 01:50:00 PM
Correction. I mean, I too believe it just happened! LOL. Sorry.
6/26/2006 01:52:00 PM
Hi Dakota!!! :D
6/26/2006 01:52:00 PM
Hey, Isabella! How goes it, babe?
DC :)
6/26/2006 01:53:00 PM
I'm good, enjoying summer. Hope you are too. :D Trollop and Harlot both hate it though. LOL.
6/26/2006 01:58:00 PM
LOL--so far, it's been pretty hectic. But the boys are off to their fathers this weekend for three weeks. So I can write more comfortable. Ya know, minus the whole--"we don't have any food in the house. He looked at me. He's breeeathing" garbage. LOLLOL
Have you read the book we're discussing? It sounds good :)
DC :)
6/26/2006 02:01:00 PM
LOL!
Yes, Something Borrowed. I actually loved it. I love our BBC discussions here. :) Love reading everyone's opinions of the book selection. I used to be a part of a book club but this one with the BBs is better because I can read all the discussion whenever it is that i'm free. :)
6/26/2006 02:10:00 PM
Chick lit, huh and no sex. Hmmm. LOL
Actually, I don't mind no sex at all. I read Dean Koontz and well, he doesn't do sex. Not in his books anyway. LOL
She slept with her best friends boyfriend? Ooooohhh, that's BAD.
Dakota :)
6/26/2006 02:14:00 PM
Sometimes you're just in a situation where all you can do is go with it, esp when you've been drinking all night. Been there, done that. LOL
Dex, that fucking cheater! I can't believe he still wanted to stay with Darcy!!!! Ethan's right. Dex was spineless. Who cares if he and Darcy had been together forever?! If he's really in love with Rach, he wuould have chosen Rach even from the start! It's either he was afraid to break it off with Darcy or he didn't really love Rach. Or both. Bastard!
I have yet to read the sequel. I wonder if Dex and Rach would still be in that novel. Anyway, frankly, I don't think Rach and Dex would last. I don't know... I somehow see him cheating again. Maybe this time with Claire. LOL LOL
NEVER NEVER steal your girlfriend's BF! That's the cardinal rule of friendship! And it's always important to stick with your GF especially when she's in a crisis. Sometimes, our friends are our only life support. However, I agree with Harlot. Love trumps friendship - IF it is true love. If not, just go buy yourself a vibe, jeez.
6/26/2006 02:38:00 PM
Yes! LOL You know now that I think about it, Rachel probably slept with Dex that first time just because she's lonely... I mean, that's what she's been thinking of in the beginning. Being alone in her 30s when in her mind, she should have been married already..
6/26/2006 03:02:00 PM
I am in chapter 5. I cannot make the many comments yet. I like Darcy so far, she is spoiled and bitchy but not cruel. Now, Dex he is too serene with the cheating for me to like him. I think he has done it before, and no one can be happy with someone like that because he will do it other times in the future.
6/26/2006 03:03:00 PM
1. I think it's plain old attraction that was never resolved. It reared its ugly head, and there you have it, falling in the sack. This is where I jump on my high-horse and say, don't ever be alone with the opposite sex (unless you're un-attached and trolling for a partner) for any length of time...this will happen. And if not now, sooner it will.
2. I din't like Dex because he cheated with his fiancee. What's wrong with putting his lust on the shelf and acting on it when he'd made a clean break with Darcy. I guess that would make for a boring relationship. I think modern times dictate that one must have sex with SO for any sort of love to be developed. That scares me big time for my daughter.
That said, I did root for them to be together, simply because the story was leaning that way.
Wasn't it very stressful with all those cloak and dagger sex? I know I was stressed out for those two.
3. Why should love and friendship be mutually exclusive? Can't we keep both instead.
It's important for women to stick together...however, it should be clear that the relationship cannot be as disparate as Darcy and Rachels. It's not healthy, and it will bread contempt. I have been in friendship like that. Stressful. Jettison a friendship...definitely. We have friends to make life beautiful, meaningful. If it's not "working" anymore, then isn't that signing up for martyrdom?
6/26/2006 03:56:00 PM
I understand that love is a different feeling than friendship. I understand you have to have a friendship in order to be in love. What I do not understand, is why love trumps friendship. Is that why most married couples do not have many friends?
6/26/2006 04:04:00 PM
1. I agree. It just happened.
2. I hated Dex, uggh! I'm with Ughblah. If you're committed to someone and you started liking somebody else, break it off first with the person you're currently with - then go pursue the new one you want.
Rachel is weak for giving in to Dex's demands. It's one thing to sleep with him once but to do it again and again while he's still engaged to HER best friend, that's insane!
However I would admit to rooting for Dex and Rach to be together just because they seem to be into each other and just because Darcy is a bitch, LOL. I just find it hard to take that Dex was being so nonchalant about the whole affair while Rachel was too undemanding. Have a problem with them sneaking around too.
3. Like some ladies have mentioned, if you're really in love and you want to be together, then be together. But like I said, break it off first if you have already a partner.
About friendship that isn't working anymore, i think it's better to just let things go.
6/26/2006 05:29:00 PM
1. I think things just happened the night they first had sex. They were both attracted to eachother and went at it. I think Rachel's choice wasn't so much based on resentment to Darcy as much as the fact that she's wanted him for so long and let down her guard one night.
2. I like Dex. Yeah he's an asshole b/c he cheated but we really don't know what it was like for him since we only really got Rachel's POV. Also, as far as him being so cool and collected about the affair. That seems to be his nature to not stress and to handle things calmly. There were several things mentioned about his cool/calm nature particularly one when he and Rachel were in law school and he was called on by nasty prof.
I did root for them to be together and I think (or like to think) it was true love. He adored her. Everything about her that she felt wasn't good, he loved. He made her feel beautiful.
Now, it did REALLY piss me off when I read about the shower scene with Dex and Darcy. Please, like he couldn't have just said no.
3.I think Rachel and Darcy are more like sisters than best friends. Because Rachel will do anything for her, put up with Darcy at all costs and is completely devoted to her even though Darcy isn't always that good to her. Rachel is an only child and even though it wasn't a geniune friendship Rachel needed it for some reason.
As far as friendships go, it's like a relationship, if it's not working you have to get out fast.
I read Something Blue right after I finished Borrowed. I suggest reading it just to get Darcy's POV. It's pretty good but a little frustrating too.
6/26/2006 07:23:00 PM
1. It seems like it just happened... they were stuck together, drunk and maybe it was also because of their suppressed feelings towards each other back in law school.
2. Dex, I like him.. I just wished he pursued Rachel more when they were in law school, but I guess that will change the story LOL... I think he's hot! But I have to agree that he is "spineless", he could've handled the situation better, broke off with Darcy so he can be with Rachel. I did root for them to be together because that's how it should be, be with the one that'll make u happy and who brings out the best in you. I think what drew them together is (like what I've said on # 1) their suppressed feelings for each other, that played a big part coupled with Darcy being a selfish bitch! True love? I don't think so, not yet, at least.
3. Given the situation that Rachel was in, being stuck with a selfish bestfriend, I would choose love, since I'm sure I can find other friends down the road.
Women should always stick together, if they know for sure that they're on the same page, they should be honest with each other even if it means telling the truth that might hurt somebody else's feelings.
I've never been in a friendship like Rachel and Darcy's and I don't think I'll ever have a friend like that, just because I don't like to be taken advantage of.
If a friendship isn't working, give it another chance and it's still not working, don't waste your time.
--pardon my wrong grammar/spelling if there are some.. English is not my first language so I hope I made sense. :D
6/26/2006 10:50:00 PM
I agree with Vixen on the shower scene. Dex didn't have to have hot sex with Darcy. I think he's a player.
I also didn't like the fact that Darcy was bordering on a cardboard character. She didn't really evolve. I mean she has her moments, but it's like character lapses and not genuine change.
6/26/2006 11:18:00 PM
I agree with Serendipity. I think Dex's a player. Even the most collected person when faced with, say, oh, an affair with your fiancee's maid of honor(!) especially when you're getting married in a few months(!!!), a normal person would be distressed even for a bit. That law school scene i think was due mostly from his confidence and that he really did know what he's talking about. Even Batman (or Superman LOL) when faced with circumstances such as these (why do i keep giving superheroes as an example? :S), especially when it involves someone they love, they get alarmed. They get frightened, there's apprehension, dread, etc, things i never saw in Dexter.
I agree with Vixen, we should have been given Dex's POV. But since we're not, he appeared to me as a seasoned pro. That's why i'm with Jordis thinking he could very well cheat again.
6/27/2006 07:16:00 AM
Sorry, this is late. I rooted for Dex and Rachel. I think they're in love. But why did he have to stay with Darcy for that long? What's wrong with Dex? Am I the only one who got the feeling he was totally trying to avoid discussing the situation after their July 4th pact? He could have broken the engagement way before the last minute.
I'm not sure if Rach and Dex would last, I hope so, no one can really say because we're only given a glimpse of their relationship while they were having the affair. I don't however believe that he's a player. Even though he didn't pursue Rach then, he's been attracted to her since their law school days. And even before the affair, I think he's already been feeling some dissatisfaction about his relationship with Darcy. After the "incident" happened, all the things he didn't like about Darcy probably surface and pushed him to reexamine his real feelings about Darcy, whose qualities were lacking compared to Rachel's.
6/27/2006 08:13:00 AM
Harlot, you're right it is a an awfully stressful situation to be calm in even if you are a collected/calm person. But the thing is, he could very well have been distant and stressed, possibly freaking out, when he was with Darcy but we don't know for sure so. Plus, Darcy wouldn't really know if he was stressed cause she was probably too caught up in her own affair with Marcus to notice.
Is it possible that maybe a cheater (if in love?) acts totally calm when with their lover b/c all they want is to forget their other life while they're with this one person?
Having said all that, I still really don't understand why Dex didn't call the wedding off until so late. That drove me nuts. I don't think it was explained well in the book. I guess it could have been because he wanted to be sure, but he told Rachel he loved her MONTHS before the wedding. It wasn't like Rachel was saying "Don't end it, you can't hurt Darcy". When I read this I kept thinking of TBH and Shura/Tatiana/Dasha. How it was such a similiar relationship except that Tatiana kept telling him to stay with Dasha (well that and it was WWII Russia). I won't get into that but I kept thinking of the relationship between these three from TBH while I was reading Borrowed.
Dex definitely comes off as a player but I can't help but like him.
Rambling again, sorry :)
In Something Blue you see a glimpse of what will hapeen with Rachel and Dex.
6/27/2006 08:40:00 AM
Just to point out, Dex and Rachel's affair are full-blown by the time Darcy gets around to cheating with Marcus. July 4th...which was weeks laters.
I thought the ending was too pat, with them cheating like that...almost like a Shakesperean comedy of errors.
6/27/2006 09:09:00 AM
Serendipity, you're right about their affair being under way. And you know, I think I am letting some of Something Blue interfere with my thoughts on this book.
6/27/2006 09:26:00 AM
>>Is it possible that maybe a cheater (if in love?) acts totally calm when with their lover b/c all they want is to forget their other life while they're with this one person?
Yeah. Wonder if they do. LOL But wouldn't having an affair/cheating distress them instead? I mean, if i'm committed with someone but i'm really in love with another, when i'm stealing time to be with him, it will be there--the thought that why can't i be with him? Why can't i be with the one i really want? Sure, i would probably be happy that even under the circumstances we can still be together, but being calm is the last thing i would be. Would probably be freaking out LOL. Especially when one of us is getting married in a few months.
6/27/2006 10:24:00 AM
Great dicussion ladies! I just want to add that I think Rachel and Dex were in love.
I agree with Trollop that their resentment toward Darcy was one of the main reasons that brought them together. But Dex was wrong not to break the engangement immediately and Rachel was wrong to continue seeing Dex without even demanding that he break it off with Darcy first! What's up with that!
Wil be back later for more, got to work! LOL
6/27/2006 10:36:00 AM
Great dicussion ladies! I just want to add that I think Rachel and Dex were in love.
I agree with Trollop that their resentment toward Darcy was one of the main reasons that brought them together. But Dex was wrong not to break the engangement immediately and Rachel was wrong to continue seeing Dex without even demanding that he break it off with Darcy first! What's up with that!
Will be back later, got to work! LOL
6/27/2006 10:37:00 AM
I agree with Harlot. If you're having an affair, how could you remain calm and so composed about it? Unless of course you've done it before or know the intricacies of having an affair.
6/27/2006 10:47:00 AM
Ladies, are we having bbc discussions until Wednesday? Or till today? :)
6/27/2006 10:48:00 AM
First, I'm not all together sure why I'm defending Dex so strongly. I'm either very argumentative today or I like Dex too much even though I shouldn't.
I am very much opposed to cheating. Unfortunately I've known a couple people who have been the cheater and a few that have been cheated on and the one thing I've noticed is that you really can't understand what is going on in the cheaters head. But, of course, it's never okay.
Maybe we can invite Ms. Giffin over for a little explanation on Dex's character and what she was thinking with all this stuff.
6/27/2006 11:04:00 AM
I guess it is different from everyone. The fact is, when you're in love (were Rach and Dex really in love? hmm, you know i think they were) sometimes you do things you never thoguht you'll be capable of. There's this quote from the book:
"I think to myself that when you're in love, sometimes you have to swallow your pride, and sometimes you have to fight to keep your pride. It's a balance. But when the relationship is right, you find that balance."
That i agree with.
6/27/2006 11:15:00 AM
I really enjoyed this book when I read it and have to agree with most of you on here. I think it was the more about getting caught in the moment for Rach and Dex when they slept together. There use to be feelings there back in Law school and even many years later can come storming back full force. I think maybe the affair continued becuase Rach felt impowered by the fact that she had Dex instead of Darcy and enjoyed the fact that it was her and not Darcy Rex was sleeping with. (Little did she know he was still sleeping with her). So yeah a little resentment.
I liked Rex, I think he really is a genuine person but just fell into a sticky situation and didn't know how to get himself out. I don't agree cheating is right but I do believe he really did have feelings for both women and just didn't make the right decision by not calling of the wedding. I didn't really root for Dex to be with anyone, in a weird sort of way I just wished that everyone went their own seperate ways. I was really happy (in a spitful way) when Rach slept with Rex because I felt Darcy was just a spoiled rotten, me, me me, I'm so beautiful type person, and it's always fun to see them fall flat on their face! :)
I think it's really hard to say what circumstances are justified to choose love over friendship, it really depends on the people, the relationship, the wrong doing, etc. I think alot of times true love will be choosen over friendship because it's love. There's no other feeling in this world that can compare. Friends will come and go but you will always have a piece of someones love with you for a lifetime. You know the feeling, your first love...they always have a piece of your heart, you love them forever.
6/27/2006 12:49:00 PM
1-I think deep down inside Rach and Dex had crushes on eachother.... They were friends for a long freakin time. So it is entirely possible. Well when Darcy left the bar and the other two hung out and talked and drank (inhibitions flying out the door) they realized that hey I like you. It just sort of... happened....
2- Dex is stupid.... stupid stupid stupid.... sure is was Rachel's idea that he stay together with Darcy and so I can't blame him entirely. So i guess Rachel is stupid too... you can't expect Dex to not have sex with Darcy... she was bound to corner him sometime and be like "fuck me" so Rachel had no right to get all pissy....
3- if its a friendship like Darcy and Rachel i am glad Dex and Rachel got together. I hated Darcy with a passion... then i read the second book and now i love them all! i'm lame i know....
6/28/2006 01:19:00 PM
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