Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Post-birthday post take two: Who would make me feel like laughing at the sky

Lately I can’t help but think how my perception about sex, relationship and love has changed over the years. How I’ve grown up, how I now see things differently, how strange that what I laughed about then is what I need today.

I’m from a very conservative family, went to Catholic schools for 20 years and was basically raised with the teaching that having sex outside of marriage is a sin—not that that had stopped me LOL. I never thought I’d remain a virgin; I’ve always been curious about sex and I was too boy-crazy to be chaste—or to be someone’s lesbian cherrypie, for that matter (AGAIN, Trollop and I are not lovers, sheesh). Probably why Sister Marie (my Theology professor) told me I was a bad student. :/

I used to think that, like anything else, sex with your lover will eventually get boring—to the point where you go into therapy, to the point where you have to train yourself to avert your eyes from the yummy forbidden fruits; that, it’s either you’re in a relationship *or* you’re free—it can’t be both. How fucking ignorant I’d been? I didn’t even consider that freedom has a funny way of making a person content with what she has... or that forbidden fruits ALSO go rotten.

Being a grown up gives me access to almost everything that those which aren’t within the immediate reach of my fingertips I sometimes stupidly see as too much work. There’s always something else, someone else, some shiny new stuff upon which to waste one’s attention...

I’ve come to learn that simply having sex does not a kinkster make, and that sleeping around like a professional footballer is not my idea of a good time. That even with a MOST fuck-worthy man, if he is not the one I love... there will ALWAYS be something lacking... A profound lack of the kind of inspiration I’m used to enjoying with someone who cherishes me, or a profound lack of the kind of affection I’d taken for granted.

I’ve realized my lack of concern for other men shouldn’t make me feel embarrassed, nor should I go see a shrink and get a prescription for anti-ennui pills. Oh, I’ve looked—I’ve flirted, I’ve teased, I’ve even tweaked a nipple here and there—but I haven’t been interested. It’s just, now... I know what I want; I know what’s important; I know what turns me on, what turns me off; I know what I’m looking for in a relationship. I want steak and I’m forgoing hamburgers indefinitely.

Someday I won’t be young and beautiful and witty and clever and full of myself and sharp and adorable and adventurous and uncontainable (mythically speaking, of course :P)... Someday, somewhere out there, is another little freak who will love, understand and kiss my three heads to make it all better.


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19 comment(s):

Blogger Jordis Juice said...

I like this post. :) "I want steak and I'm forgoing hamburgers indefinitely".

I don't think I've learned much to tell you the truth. Besides to always protect yourself when you are having sex and to dump a guy when he said the girl he was kissing the other night was his freaking cousin.

Oh. And if he doesn't return your call, he's not that into you. LOL.

8/14/2007 02:01:00 PM  

Anonymous Carmen said...

I've been married to my husband for 5 years know and we have been together for 9. I STILL don't understand him sometimes!!!! The man can drive me crazy. I think he does it because he knows that he is going to get a reaction out of me. He no longer gets irritated/mad at me if I yell at him. He just says or does something to make me laugh. We've had our ups and downs like every other relationship out there and I honestly will tell you that I can't imagine myself with any other man.

The only advice I can think of is NEVER EVER give up who you are. That means all the good things and the bad things. I've seen it happen so much with friends that in the end they end up hating the relationship their in. They felt that they had to hide a part of themselves just to make the other happy or to avoid conflicts and usually it involved Sex.

Thank the heavens that I found a man that has grown with me and is still moving along with me. I've many more years with him and were both still young. Know all I need to do it get him to pick up after himself!

8/14/2007 04:41:00 PM  

Blogger Mailyn said...

OK, so what you are saying is that you are going to become a nun?! I don't get it. But you know I'm slow. :-P

P.S. Does that mean Raoul is up for grabs? LOL.

8/14/2007 06:53:00 PM  

Blogger Menchie said...

I totally get what you mean. I think I came to the same realization when I was just about your age too (I'm sooooo old!).

THAT other freak will come you know, and it's going to be sooooo worth it.

8/14/2007 08:28:00 PM  

Blogger Shoshana said...

I've been married over 15 years to the love of my life. I believe we have one of the greatest love story/marriage. I'd do everything for him, and he the same for me.

That said, there are moments when I feel like yanking his head and pushing it down the toilet bowl. He's not near close to perfect, but, he's perfect for me.

Perfect is not just good enough in marriage/life partner. Perfect for you is the best there is.

Out there, you have someone just for you...and when you tie the knot, you had better send me an invitation or I will re-arrange your book out of order.

xo

8/14/2007 09:06:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

"If he is not the one I love, there will always be something lacking". I think that sums that up. At the same time, (as Carmen had said) never give up who you are.

I have never been married but I do know that in every relationship you should learn to compromise. That doesn't mean you have to set your standards low or you should not fight for what you believe in.

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Like normal couples we fight too and there are times we don't see eye to eye. I alway try to listen and if I HAVE to, I give in to what he wants. But if it is something important to me, I will always fight for it. Thank heavens he knows how to give in too.

8/14/2007 10:22:00 PM  

Anonymous Ollenska said...

I have always gotten the impression that you (and Trollop) are strong. I have no doubt you'll do fine ;-)

Olly

8/14/2007 10:42:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Jordis,
I don't care if he's kissing his sister, he shouldn't be kissing any OTHER girl besides you.

Like i said, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're not free. So break his philandering arm if you must! :P


Carmen,
I agree with what you said. And methinks your husband is very lucky. ;)

8/15/2007 06:52:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Mailyn,
I can't be a nun. I'm not even Catholic. :/ And they'll throw me out of the convent for sure.

What i want is the best. I want everything--the whole fucking nine yards, hell, make that ten--or nothing at all. I deserve it, dammit. (Or, perhaps i am really greedy LOL.)

P.S. Raoul will NEVER EVER be up for grabs! *grrr* He loves me, umm-hmm. :D


Menchie,
You're only as old as you feel. ;) Besides i doubt you'll get old, you're too hip a momma to be old.


Shosh,
Threatening to rearrange my books out of order is below the belt! *hmph*

8/15/2007 07:37:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

I think love is always a risk. Risk of getting hurt, risk of being disappointed, risk of sharing your life with someone who might end up destroying it. But you have to take that risk because if you succeed, the rewards are endless, including happiness.

You give yourself to someone and hopefully he will give himself back to you. Not half-heartedly but all of him. He must be willing to meet you half-way or it won't work.

8/15/2007 09:35:00 AM  

Anonymous karamia said...

Shoshana, you are so right! I am absolutly crazy for my husband. But I do sometimes want to yank his head off as well.

I think what is important is to find a guy you respect above all others that can give you the greatest orgasm of your life. But just my humble opinion ;)

Harlot, you'll have no trouble finding your steak, and he will fall head over heels in love with you!!! I have no doubt.

8/15/2007 11:20:00 AM  

Blogger Jerseygirl said...

Happy belated birthday, Trollop! Anyway, romance is always a challenge. Petra was right about the risks...and the rewards! IMHO, being in love can be the most intensely wonderful feeling ever, and the most searingly painful. But at least you know you're alive, which is a good thing. :)

8/15/2007 09:59:00 PM  

Anonymous Lindsey said...

JerseyGirl, I believe it was Harlot's birthday. :) Anyway I agree with you and Petra.

Don't fret dear Harlot, for you are young and beautiful and really all that things you have mentioned on your post. I have no doubt you will get what you want.

8/15/2007 10:51:00 PM  

Blogger Yellow Cake said...

Oh, yeah. That's right, Puddin'. Keep talkin' 'bout sex 'n yer smokin' ass 'n all that wonderful stuff. Oh, jeez! Now I'm fixin' to rub one out!

8/16/2007 12:13:00 AM  

Blogger Yellow Cake said...

Oh, wow. That was fantastic. Pumpkin, yer simply amazin'. Phew! I need a cigarette.

8/16/2007 12:21:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

Yellow Cake, you need to stop smoking hash. Perhaps you should come back and post when you're sober and able enough not to make an ass of yourself. I'll take it you think i'm pritti and look like a goddess and that you have flatulence problems? Because you know, there are plenty of stomach meds for old folks out there. I could probably do a post on them to help you choose.

8/16/2007 04:00:00 AM  

Blogger Yellow Cake said...

Fine. I'm outta here. Have a groovy life.

8/16/2007 08:48:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

Karamia, I love your response:

"I think what is important is to find a guy you respect above all others that can give you the greatest orgasm of your life."

... and I totally agree. ;)

Harlot, LOL! Yeah, I thought Yellow was out of line with those comments.

8/16/2007 10:29:00 AM  

Blogger Harlot said...

As much as Trollop and i love hearing from our male visitors (best examples here, here and here), we're not going to sacrifice the comfortability of other readers for someone who can't control himself like a green lad. We don't kick anyone out; we accept all opinions/comments here (except spammers) supporting or otherwise, but please, boys... contain yourselves, will you? *g* And to think i wasn't even talking dirty. :/

8/16/2007 11:04:00 AM