Tuesday, April 3, 2007

For my babe

You guys know we’re not into relating personal stuff on this blog. Actually (and frankly), I don’t like it when people ask about my personal stuff. But I feel so sad and mad, so helpless and frightened right now, if I have shrinks they’d be highly alarmed. It’s just... nothing feels right.

I’m asking for some white light for my babe, my Trollop. I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like me but please, please think positive thoughts for her.

I’ve wished her joy since the moment I met her. I know things will eventually be fine (I swear, IT WILL) but if I could take her pain away this instance I would do it, because I need her to get better. I have to admit this is purely for selfish reasons. You see, I might not be the one she needs right now, but I need her.

Babe, like before (and always):**

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

You have to get better, babe; what would I do without you? Also, I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU REST TILL YOU ADMIT IT. Admit it, I’m pretty!!! *hmph* Of course, if you want, hermosa is fine too. :P And if we’re going to do some illegal stuff again, you better stop taking those brownies!

**E.E. Cummings
***I disabled the comment section of this particular post. You don’t have to reply, but I thank you so much for all the warm thoughts/wishes to help Trollop heal.