Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Oh, ye devious plans

A wonderful cyber friend of mine has met a new guy (no one deserves it more btw *g*). I mentioned how we (some other cyber friends and I) could come up with devious romantic plans for her to hook him. That made me go down memory lane as I recalled all the stuff I’ve come up with to have guys either notice me, or talk to me, or date me or snog me LOL.

I’ve pretty much done it all; most of it while drunk and more than half of it swallow-me-earth embarrassing.

Once, I took my bathing suit off and jumped into a pool in broad daylight. I was so drunk all I had to remind me the next day that something shifty had gone on was the horrible sunburn I had in parts you cannot even imagine. The worst thing? “Hottie” was even drunker than I and passed out without even looking at me (a blessing, really!!!). Who did get an eye full was my BFF’s grandfather who owns the beach house we were staying at for the week (he’d come to check on some pool engine that had been malfunctioning or something). Till this day I’m mortified when I remember this (my brother is engaged to my BFF so I have to see this man regularly).

Once, in a club, a friend and I pretended we were foreigners and didn’t speak Spanish to hook up with some guys. The next day, my friend told me I looked more like a retard than a person from out of town seeing as I kept talking with my hands and making weird face gestures. She says the guys kept staring at me weird and then left for the bathroom and never came back LOL.

Another time same friend and I played this game in a pub: we’d find the hottest guys and say, “Hey, my friend and I had this contest on who the hottest guy in the pub is and you won. Your prize is a kiss from her if you want to collect it now.”

Okay, I sound like a total slut from these stories but I’m, in general, pretty well behaved—unless there are drinks involved. Also, anything done in the name of fun that doesn’t hurt anyone else is totally permissible in my book.

You guys cannot leave me alone in my embarrassment; you so have to share some hook-up stories of your own now.

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5 comment(s):

Blogger December/Stacia said...

Oh, dear. I once told a guy--an actual friend of mine, not a good friend, but certainly someone I knew and had hung out with in the past--that he was the sexiest motherf*cker I'd ever seen. I still turn crimson at the memory. Being drunk (or was I high?) was no excuse.

I know I have more. I've embarrassed myself on far too many occasions.

12/20/2007 07:40:00 AM  

Blogger Sarah McCarty said...

I'm not a big drinker and I'm really straight forward. If I'm interested in a guy and he's slow to make a move I'll simply walk up and introduce myself and start talking. If it's ambivalent for two long, I'll bluntly ask if they're interested.

The saving grace is that I tend to be attracted to intelligence, personality and a sense of humor. (Ie nice guys) A man who can crack a good joke or laugh in a dark moment will have my total attention in a blink of an eye whereas a built man may or may not even create a blip on my radar. So usually, even if the person is not attracted to me, what could be an extremely awkward moment usually ends in a laugh and shared drinks.

Trust me, you really want to be talking to someone with a sense of humor when it suddenly dawns on you (because your mind is always spinning on multiple levels and you really haven't been paying attention to the conversation) the guy standing beside you taking to you for the last ten minutes is trying to impress you and you tactlessly blurt out the truth, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Are you hitting on me?"

*sigh* I tend to have lots of those type of embarrassing moments.

12/20/2007 09:14:00 AM  

Blogger Aggie said...

Many moons ago, my girlfriend and were bored silly by some guy at a party telling us all about his racy new car. We flicked him off and went to a new party where we both pretended we were "racing drivers" and impressed some (gullible) new guy with all our newly aquired technical details about this stupid car we had never seen. He bought it until we cracked up big time.

Merry Christmas Bitches ... hope you have a fantastically Happy One and to all your readers too!

12/20/2007 03:55:00 PM  

Anonymous karamia said...

One St. Patrick's Day, I kissed nearly every guy in an Irish bar just so I could (finally) kiss the bartender.
And a friend and I once told a group of guys in a bar that we were strippers from Alaska. They were completely taken by our story. But no hooking up came from it. Thank God. But we were treated like queens that night! A few weeks later one of them recognized me at my job. Embarassing and funny all at the same time.

12/20/2007 06:19:00 PM  

Anonymous shoshana said...

How about trying to walk on air, you know rolling gait and tripping over the pavement!

Lucky me I didn't break my nose. Unlucky me, I got the guy's attention...he was laughing so hard, I lost interest in him right away. I look pretty silly sprawled on concrete though. I was 15.

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12/21/2007 03:18:00 AM