I’ve pretty much done it all; most of it while drunk and more than half of it swallow-me-earth embarrassing.
Once, I took my bathing suit off and jumped into a pool in broad daylight. I was so drunk all I had to remind me the next day that something shifty had gone on was the horrible sunburn I had in parts you cannot even imagine. The worst thing? “Hottie” was even drunker than I and passed out without even looking at me (a blessing, really!!!). Who did get an eye full was my BFF’s grandfather who owns the beach house we were staying at for the week (he’d come to check on some pool engine that had been malfunctioning or something). Till this day I’m mortified when I remember this (my brother is engaged to my BFF so I have to see this man regularly).
Once, in a club, a friend and I pretended we were foreigners and didn’t speak Spanish to hook up with some guys. The next day, my friend told me I looked more like a retard than a person from out of town seeing as I kept talking with my hands and making weird face gestures. She says the guys kept staring at me weird and then left for the bathroom and never came back LOL.
Another time same friend and I played this game in a pub: we’d find the hottest guys and say, “Hey, my friend and I had this contest on who the hottest guy in the pub is and you won. Your prize is a kiss from her if you want to collect it now.”
Okay, I sound like a total slut from these stories but I’m, in general, pretty well behaved—unless there are drinks involved. Also, anything done in the name of fun that doesn’t hurt anyone else is totally permissible in my book.
You guys cannot leave me alone in my embarrassment; you so have to share some hook-up stories of your own now.
Labels: trollop and harlot’s stuff