Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I'm getting to the bottom of this!


I’m tired of hearing about Daniel Craig’s “hotness,” and even more, of trying to find the bloody thing! Where, exactly, is this “sexiness” of his? Is it hidden somewhere where only a chosen few can see it?

I’m not sorry if I’m offending anyone by pointing out that this guy looks like a pedophile on steroids. And if he were at least a cute pedophile on steroids I wouldn’t be complaining, but he’s damn fugly to boot! Were this guy to approach me late at night, I’d pepper-spray him to within an inch of his life! LOL

OK, I admit he has nice eyes, and a fine looking abdomen but, ladies, that’s where it ends! He’s blond for crying out loud, has the nose of an anteater (you’d think with all that money he could afford plastic surgery), sports random bald patches all over his carefully arranged hair and has ears dumbo would kill for! As if that weren’t enough, has white-blond stuble (euwww) and the body of a Ken doll, though he more resembles Gollum than anyone should have the misfortune to.

So, I have a few questions to ease my troubled mind.

Do you find Daniel Craig sexy/cute/handsome/hot? If so, besides needing therapy, did you start liking him after 007, or have you always found him attractive? And last, but definitely not least, why, why, why and WHY?!?**

** Do NOT open at work!!!

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31 comment(s):

Blogger kinky courtesan said...

I've got to admit.... something about him just is cute.... that is obviously not the best picture of him.... i started liking him after Tomb Raider the first.... haha.... I haven't even seen the new bond movie yet.... the boy who is laying naked next to me says that he isn't bad looking too.... ha! take that trollop!

2/27/2007 01:33:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't particularly like Daniel Craig. I don't particularly dislike him either. I've seen better and I've seen worse. But the guy is a great actor; I loved the newest Bond movie. Especially the torture scene! *grin*

And last, but definitely not least, why, why and WHY would you show us those pictures??? Hehehe

2/27/2007 01:38:00 PM  

Anonymous Dreamer said...

What's wrong with blond men? I have a thing for blond men!

2/27/2007 01:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Di said...

I'm more scared of the tiny willy than the oversized Gollum picture!

Not my cuppa' to be honest but I hadn'd seen him as such a monster as you do either! Things have changed after this post...

2/27/2007 01:42:00 PM  

Anonymous Lola Lovegood said...

I don't very much care for him either way. He's just an average guy for me but OMG that is a small penis. I'm hoping its "resting" in these pictures, if not... LMAO

2/27/2007 01:51:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found him very very sexy as Bond.

But admittedly I am not so Hot about him as many others are.

Lola where on earth did you see his penis???

2/27/2007 02:26:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Lola,

My guess is its resting, if not it wouldn't be tiny it would be abnormal! But I'm thinking if its so small while flacid it can't be more than 5-6 inches when hard? Which is just average, You should see my Raoul *roar* Now he is something worth drooling over! LOL

Anon,

The penis pics are in why, why and why? Enjoy *teehee*

2/27/2007 02:38:00 PM  

Blogger SarahReznor said...

I dont think he's that hot, I can see how some women might like it, women like my mom! but nope - doesnt do it for me. if youask me it;s the 007 thing, it's like auto-hot for some checks.

2/27/2007 02:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Luci said...

Cannot stop snickering!!! those pics are pretty pathetic but I would like to believe its resting.

Anon was me Luci BTW. Posted the comment by mistake before signing.

2/27/2007 02:50:00 PM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

Ooh, I have to put my Hotmama vampire slayer chic as an avatar!

That guy in the bathtub? It looks like there's a pelt around his dick! eewww
And Gollum is so gross looking, I almost heaved!
I'm reserving opinion on DC because sometimes a role can define the man. That *must* be the case here ;)

2/27/2007 03:33:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Re: It looks like there's a pelt around his dick!

OMG LOL LOL LOL that's too funny!

2/27/2007 04:05:00 PM  

Blogger ALE said...

Ew, those pics ruined my appetite.

I object to the knock on him being blond! Oh and that picture of him is absolutely the worst possible one you could've chosen, why not give him a fighting chance with a picture from the Bond movie? That's what won me over. He's sexy in that movie. Before that, I admit to not being impressed but man, as Bond *sigh*.

2/27/2007 05:05:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Oh come on, that's a normal pic! I saw some trully ugly ones, but I was fair and posted that one! In any case, I wouldn't have found a good one anyway since I'm obviously blind to his charms LOL

2/27/2007 05:11:00 PM  

Blogger Nikky said...

he really doesnt do it for me, I'm also not a fan of blonds, but yeah, everything you pointed out, too (nose, ears etc)

As far as the pics... maybe the water was REALLY COLD...??

2/27/2007 08:33:00 PM  

Blogger mm said...

The only time I found DC hot was in the first Tomb Raider movie, and only because he had no stubble, and had all his hair.
And I never saw 007. I will stay in my happy place where Pierce Brosnan ordered the martini shaken, not stirred.

2/27/2007 10:27:00 PM  

Anonymous Angie B said...

I don't think he's attractive at all. I'm glad you posted this because I didn't get it either. I do have a thing for Simon Cowell though, which most people can't understand, I think it has more to do with all his $$$ and that sexy accent.

2/27/2007 10:44:00 PM  

Blogger Rachel said...

What's wrong with blond guys? Brad Pitt is blond. Matthew McCounaghey is blond.

Those pictures are abysmal Trollop! I love Daniel Craig and he's really sexy as James Bond, lol.

2/27/2007 11:28:00 PM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

DC is hot in Casino Royale. If I didn't see it, I don't think I would have liked him at all, lol.

2/28/2007 12:22:00 AM  

Blogger Lorelei said...

Angie B, I'm with you about Simon Cowell. There's something about him that's really sexy, lol! He's not into bullshitting anyone, I like that about him.

2/28/2007 12:23:00 AM  

Blogger Sparkling Cipher said...

Doesn't do much for me, though I can see where some women might like him. And nothing wrong with blond men. They can be just as sexy and dark men.

2/28/2007 09:46:00 AM  

Blogger Menchie said...

When I first heard he was the new Bond, I thought, ew why the hell are they changing Brosnan??? DIdn't even notice him in Tomb Raider.

So for me, it really is Casino Royale. When I saw the movie, my jaw dropped.

Also, the first and second pics seem inconsistent with regards to the size of his penis. The first one also seems to be "resting" but is it just me or does it seem bigger than the third picture??

2/28/2007 11:35:00 AM  

Blogger HOTMAMA said...

What?!
Those teeny weenie pics are DC?
LOL no way!

2/28/2007 08:05:00 PM  

Blogger Isabella said...

Are those pics real???

3/01/2007 11:31:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

OMG, that's really small! LOL. I think Daniel Radcliffe's penis is better than that... I can't believe that's Daniel Craig's!

3/01/2007 02:07:00 PM  

Blogger Jordis said...

Casino Royale is an awesome movie. And it's because of Daniel Craig. I don't think any other actors who previously played James Bond could have pulled it off like DC.

Trollop, those pics are horrible! I can't stop laughing though. LOL!

3/01/2007 02:28:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

Trollop, why why why would you post those pics? You are trying to ruin things for DC. And we're not even sure those are real! (very little... LOL)

3/01/2007 09:24:00 PM  

Blogger Jolie said...

I can't help but keep looking at these pics! Snicker :P

3/02/2007 12:15:00 AM  

Blogger THE PERIODIC ENGLISHMAN said...

Hello again, Trollop.

First up, I'm glad I work from home. You do well to advise caution to your readers before opening up those pictures you posted. Still, even though I work from home, I can't say I was best pleased to have to look at this man's curious penis over and over and over again. NO.

I'm afraid to say, however, that I am less than up-to-date on these matters and had simply no idea that he was to be the new James Bond. I like James Bond. I don't like this man's penis. These jarring facts mean that, on balance, I am highly unlikely to watch him in the Bond films. It is a brutally random system, sure, but it's all I've got to go on.

His face looks rubbery. And not in a good way.

I see that there has been some discussion about the size of his less than 007 man-dangle. I can only say, that from where I'm standing, it looks absolutely HUGE. Especially the last picture.
I may have problems.

The one in the bath does look like it's a "resting" picture, though. Wakened, not stirred? I just hate myself for that.

Kind regards and greetings to you (and your man) from Ireland, Trollop.

TPE

3/03/2007 08:57:00 AM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

TPE,

I think I love you! Will you marry me? *LOL*

What part of Ireland are you from? I love Irish pubs here in Madrid. They're usually packed with testosterone and hot english men. I don't like rugby/soccer or that other sport with the stick and the ball but I go watch anyway just so I can gawk at the hotties LOL

3/03/2007 01:36:00 PM  

Blogger THE PERIODIC ENGLISHMAN said...

I will, yes. I'm going to need to do something about my girlfriend first, though. I'll maybe just come right out with it and ask her whether she minds if I marry you. I'm sure she'll be fine with it. She's had me for sixteen years now, so she'll likely be happy with a change. It's a plan, certainly.

Actually, Trollop, I'm from Scotland originally, but am writing to you from southern Ireland (County Cork). We came here a couple of years ago to stay for a month and have yet to make it home. Strange, but true. But it is just so beautiful and green and calm and friendly - and we have no plans to return to our house and home in Scotland for a good while yet. Next stop might be Portugal (again) anyway. We'll see. It hardly matters, does it? Everywhere has something to offer, even for a hermit like myself.

I used to go to Irish pubs, too, in order to gawk at the man hotties. Then my girlfriend found out. So that stopped Shame, really.

Good to meet you, Trollop, and thanks for taking the time to reply to my strange contribution earlier. Class act. I have a feeling I'll be back to annoy you some time real soon. Take care.

Kind regards etc....

(I am up way too late again - I'll regret it in the morning)

3/03/2007 10:55:00 PM  

Blogger C Bradshaw said...

I definitely think Daniel Craig is hot and I highly recommend Casino Royale to those who haven't seen it yet. But these pictures are... what's the word? Disturbing?

3/03/2007 11:36:00 PM