Monday, October 22, 2007

"Wildcat Arrows," what was I thinking?

I’ve been bored to tears all day. Funny how I have so much work to do, refuse to start on it and choose to be bored out of my mind.

I decided I’d kill some of my boredom by cleaning out my computer—which, oddly enough, I love to do. Halfway through my methodical and almost mathematical PC cleaning process, I found this in my blog folder:

What the fuck? I have no idea what I was going to use this for except to disturb you guys as much as I’ve disturbed myself. I thought for sure this was some sort of fake “funny” cover but, no, my friends, this is an actual cover and a real author.

Blazing new trails in experimental fiction is a top priority for Dara Joy. Her novels break all the rules and have captured a huge audience. Her unique works have gone on to receive numerous awards.

Awards? Perhaps they mean something her kids put together out of cardboard paper and glitter.

This poor woman is obviously hated by the Cover Fairy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen so much cover fug together LOL. These men look like out of work porn stars from the 70s!


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11 comment(s):

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

Having a closer look at the covers I think "dudes" from Mine to Take and High intensity are the same guy. Odd man out is Wildcat. God I can't look at that pic or write that name w/o bursting into adolscent giggles LOL

10/22/2007 05:43:00 PM  

Anonymous Gabrielle said...

These are frightening. I dont think I could ever read them. The guy in the third pic is looking at me weirdly :S

10/23/2007 05:01:00 AM  

Blogger Petra said...

Trollop LOL!

This is embarrassing but I have that second book with the guy with shaved armpits. At least I don't have that wilcats one!

10/23/2007 11:56:00 AM  

Anonymous Di said...

Is Arrows his last name?

Maybe his name is John Arrows and he goes by Wildcat?

10/23/2007 01:43:00 PM  

Blogger December/Stacia said...

I'm pretty sure she self-pubbed Wilcat, and the dude is her husband or something.

Yep, self-pubbed. But no confirmation on the identity of the guy. You could probably find him at your local soup kitchen if you looked hard enough.

10/23/2007 03:34:00 PM  

Blogger Vicious Trollop said...

December, you're kidding right? Her husband? LOL LOL LOL Why would anyone willingly submit themselves to public ridicule like that? And how the hell did that guy agree to wear that cheap wig (and not even in his hair color!), grow that porn looking mustache and wear that crown thingy? Surely they aren't still married? LOL

10/23/2007 03:40:00 PM  

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't this that author who stole money from readers?

10/23/2007 04:21:00 PM  

Blogger Harlot said...

OMG. This is probably the fugliest cover male model evah. But, er, i'm confused: is that a man dressed as a fairy or a woman with mustache dressed as a tranny? Really, i'm asking. :/

10/24/2007 12:47:00 AM  

Anonymous karamia said...

As far as Wildcat goes, I think the hair and the weird forehead jewlery were added after the picture was taken. Were they trying to make him hotter? Huh, good luck with that.
I checked out the link, that is a lot of fug in one place. All of the guys are hairless. They all shave their armpits. i can't beieve that whoever made these covers did not hate the author.

10/25/2007 03:21:00 PM  

Anonymous Trollop said...

Re As far as Wildcat goes, I think the hair and the weird forehead jewlery were added after the picture was taken. Were they trying to make him hotter? Huh, good luck with that.

Karamia, your comment cracked me up LOL LOL LOL

It's true, that crown thingy and the bad wig looks like it was very badly photoshopped in. I'm horrid at editing pics and I could've done a far better job than that! Wonder if Wildcat's model sued LOL

10/25/2007 04:15:00 PM  

Anonymous Cory said...

Oh good lord, that is hideous. Perfect for Halloween.

10/27/2007 01:11:00 AM